Post by Simon on Apr 5, 2011 21:53:28 GMT -5
Orange is a match
Red is a segment
RoP presents Primer Anniversario
April 4th, 2011
University Field
El Paso, TX
Attendance: 1,500
We go to a live shot of University Field in El Paso. The fans in attendance are screaming on top of their lungs as “I Got to Have It” hits the sound system and Simon Sensation walks out from the back to cheers. He slaps some hands on his way to the ring and uses the stairs to get in. He pulls a microphone out of his back pocket and lets his music die off.
Simon: It’s hard to believe that just a year ago, the first ever Ring of Pride show aired on our website. Of course, the show that aired a year ago and what you’re watching right now are two different things but that’s to be expected. Wrestlers have come and gone. The faces in the locker room have changed. The landscape of the company has changed as well. But I don’t look at it as a bad thing and neither should you fans. You see, things evolve. It’s just the natural course of things. Given time, things will morph and they will become better and this company has been no exception.
He pauses for a moment and looks at the entrance area that he had come out of just moments before.
Simon: The only people that were here for our first show last year were that remain are Stu-E Price……..
The crowd gives a huge pop at this.
Simon: And Lucas Peek……………..
Again, the crowd cheers at the mention of Lucas’ name.
Simon: Everyone else that was here at the beginning from Jay Millar to Dominic Zubrowka to Jonathan Cage to Mr. Rottentreats to Stephen Saint, they’ve all fallen by the wayside between then and now. But you know, I think it’s for the best. Because I think that over time, the best have remained while everyone else has been weeded out so that the people who remain want to see this company succeed and want to make it something special just like I do. When I looked around the locker room before the show and I saw everyone getting ready, I saw a bunch of guys that want to come out here, bust their asses and make sure that this show is one of the best ones that we’ve ever put on. When I saw all of the faces of those backstage tonight, I saw it in their eyes. I saw it etched onto their faces. They’re hungry, they know that tonight is going to be their shot at immortality and showing the world what they’re capable of. For most of them, this is their first shot at the big time. This is their first chance to get a spotlight in any shape or form and yeah, there’s even a few people back there who know that this could possibly be their last shot at glory. But the thing is that they all came together tonight, they’re all gathered in the back and ready to give you fans a wild night and not only come back here to the place where Ring of Pride ran it’s first show to celebrate the past and revel in what was, but to look to the future, their future and prepare for what will be.
He takes a deep breath and then turns his head so that he’s looking over at the ringside commentator’s table.
Simon: And keeping with that line of thinking…..looking to the future…….I want to talk to you, Stu.
He now turns so that he’s completely looking at Stu. He approaches that side of the ring and leans his forearms against the top rope as he smirks.
Simon: I watched that excuse for a show that you put on two weeks ago with my talent and I think that I speak for anyone with common sense when I say that well.......it was a disaster. I can stand here before everyone here in El Paso, everyone at home and even you, Stu and firmly put my foot down and say that we will NEVER be going to that shithole England again. Hell, I can firmly say that Fred Estridge and Peter Roberts will NEVER work here ever again. Everything about that show, I want to put in the past. I just want to fucking throw every single copy of it’s DVDs into a giant dumpster and have a huge ass bonfire. I want to wipe it completely from everyone’s memory.
He sighs and shakes his head.
Simon: But I know that I can’t exactly do that. But what I can do, Stu, is right that wrong inside of my own mind. I can take action and make sure that while that scourge on my company’s legacy will forever be there, that the man who made that scourge happen was justly punished for putting me and everyone else through that bullshit.
The crowd grows silent at this point and Stu’s staring a hole through Simon as the owner of Ring of Pride leans over the top rope.
Simon: Stu, I’m too smart to let you go from this company as a wrestler. I know the people like you and I know that there’s money to be made with you sticking around and hey......I’m just like everyone else. I love money. Especially when I got to do shit to get it. But as far as this crap with you being out here all night goes?
He motions at Stu and then furrows his brown.
Simon: It ain’t going to happen anymore.........get your ass to the locker room. You’re no longer our color guy out here. After that disgrace of a show you made two weeks ago, the only color you add to this company is whatever color puke is because that’s what I was doing that entire show and that’s what I do whenever you talk out here.
Stu just shakes his head and Simon shrugs as he takes a step back from the ropes.
Simon: What are you still here for? I told you to get your ass to back! Do I need to take a sip of tea and lose all of my teeth for your English ass to comprehend that I want you out of here?
Stu stands up to boos from the crowd and pulls his headset off. He tosses it down onto the table and then shakes his head as he places his hands on his hips and begins to walk around the ring to the entrance aisle. Simon just rolls his eyes.
Simon: Fucking drama queen. Anyway, with Stu gone, that means that the commentators table has an open seat. Now, I could have put Mick Garrity in that seat, hell I could have filled it myself and I’m sure in either case that it would have worked out well. But there’s a guy backstage that’s been around this company since our first show, he’s a guy that’s been loyal to me and this product beyond belief and he’s been waiting for a chance like this to pop up so that he could take it. He’s no stranger to you all, I’m sure. Ladies and gentlemen........our NEW color commentator..........BIG DOG!
With a look of glee on his face, he points to the entrance area and House Of Pain’s “Jump Around” blasts out of the sound system. Out actually walks Big Dog himself with a black RoP shirt that has England’s flag on the back with a big red X over it. His Jeans seem ripped here and there but for once he is walking instead of staggering about opening up his arms like he was welcoming the boos and jeers of the fans gesturing them to get it all out of their system while he supports a wide shit eating smirk across his face flicking the toothpick between his lips.
It had been a while since the fans had seen their creative executive, they still had no love for him, Dog walks around like he was actually going to slap hands with the fans just to yank his away at the last moment, making some lewd gestures to the females in the crowd while making his way to ringside he stops to show off his hate for England for the cameras before hopping on the apron and getting in trough the ropes, after High fiving Simon he gestures for a microphone.
Dog: El Paso Texas welcome to the new and improved Ring Of Pride! Damn it feels great to be back home!
Simon nods approvingly and claps a bit while the fans boo all they can which makes Dog chuckle.
Dog: I missed you bastards too! You might not like that fact that from now on Stu-E actually has to EARN his paycheck just like everyone else, he can’t hide behind the desk and pretend to know about the psychology and storytelling that goes on between these ropes. Oh no poor Stu actually has to wrestle to pay for his tea biscuits now and you the fans get to enjoy some great commentary. I have been part of this company since the very first moment and I will be here even after everyone else is gone word to your mom’s I came to drop bombs Primer Anniversario will make you all forget about that little joke of a stint held in a country ruled by horsefaced cunts for generation to the next, in a country that has notoriety in bad teeth, silly accents and eating chips with every damn thing! I would have rather sent this great federation of ours to Scotland but then again they would have probably deep fried their DVDs anyway right? Your very own Talent Executive Mr. Creative himself is stepping up to raise this company to brand new heights after all I have sobered up and got my life back on track, Let’s start the festivities shall we bring in the first lucky fucks of the night!
He slams the microphone down and shakes hands with Simon before hopping out of the ring and putting on his headset immediately Strong speaks up.
AS: Wow you actually quit drinking?
BD: Nah man, I just do shots now easier to down quick during matches.
A quick look away and he does pour himself a shot of whiskey and gulps it down at once.
AS: Drinking on the job already, got a message for the folks watching at home?
BD: Sure, Stu-E sucks and everyone who thinks he has any talent should just move back to their council flat in UK!
TL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the Outlaw’s Stampede! The rules of the match are simple. Ten men will start in the ring at once. To eliminate someone, they must be thrown through the cage door or over the top of the cage with both feet touching the ringside mats. The winner of this match will get a Southwestern Heavyweight Championship match at Red, White and Bruised in July! Introducing first………….already in the ring, Dann SaVage!
SaVage raises his hands in the air to boos from the fans.
AS: SaVage debuted two weeks ago with a lackluster display in a four way match. Maybe he can get things on track here.
BD: My magic eight ball says his ass is grass, Strong.
TL And introducing participant number two, James Chaos!
The crowd boos as “One Step Closer” begins to play and Chaos strolls out from the back with Eric Sparrow at his side.
AS: Chaos has been on a skid recently but I could see him using this match to make an impact.
BD: Glad you can see that because I can’t………..
TL: And on his way to the ring, “The Dark Raven” Marcus Corvo!
AS: Corvo is unbeaten so far and definitely should be a dark horse here.
BD: Dark horse…….he’s white?
The fans pop as “Unknown Soldier” starts to play. Marcus makes his way out from back and eyes the cage and the few people in it as he makes his way around it to the door.
TL And from Kilgore, Texas……..Lucas Peek!
The crowd cheers a little as “Take Over” begins to play. Lucas makes his way out from the back and slaps a few hands as he makes his way down to the ring.
AS: Lucas recently went back to his roots and changed his name but will it lead to success is the question.
BD: The answer is no.
TL: And on his way to the ring, Marty “The Party” Valens!
“Peggy Sue” plays and Valens walks out with his guitar in hand, shaking his hips as he slowly gets down to the ringside to boos from the crowd.
AS: Valens has had a problem with his stablemates in the The All Night Dance Part as of late. I don’t see that changing here.
BD: Is that Elvis, man? The king lives! He lives!
TL: And from Boston, Massachusetts….Paddy Connors!
“State of Massachusetts” plays as Paddy walks out from the back to cheers and slaps some hands.
AS: Paddy has been on a roll as of late, but this will be a real challenge for him. He’s never been in a match like this before, I don’t think.
BD: And this is the portion of the show where I feel like going to the bathroom, folks.
AS: You need to slow down on the beer!
TL: And on his way to the ring…….Justice Blackstone!
“Innocence” plays as Justice makes his way out from the back and at a swift pace, gets down to the ring and steps up onto the apron before he shakes the cage wall.
AS: This man is my pick for this match. He had a great showing in his debut and I think he’s got a world of potential. Who’s your pick, Dog?
BD: I’d rather pick my nose than anyone in the ring right now.
TL: And making his debut, “X Rated” Ben Eckford!
“Destabilize” begins to play as the big man Eckford walks out from the back with a smirk as he looks at the ring.
AS: This guy is big, period. Of course, nobody knows much about Eckford so he’s something of possible spoiler in this match.
BD: The Spoiler is in this match? I thought he retired long ago?
TL: And on his way out, representing The All Night Dance Party, Christopher O’Toole!
“Insanity” plays as O’Toole makes his way out from the back to some cheers and slaps a few hands on his way down to the cage.
AS: Talk about ungrateful, that’s what this man is since he’s turned his back on Marty Valens lately. Marty brought him to the show, but now this guy’s got an ego and thinks he can go it alone.
BD: I’d rather he just go……period.
TL: And last but not least………….
The opening notes of “We made you” chime and we hear EMINEM ask
"Guess who, did you miss me?"
The curtain parts and El Doucho steps through wearing a black leather jacket over his usual attire there are two noticeable differences though his mask has been replaced by one with an open back held on with a mesh of black elastic bands the other is that his shirt is covered in a veritable wall of text. EDB saunters in doing an obscene half dance where he does a pelvic after each step in time with the music.
“When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rock star (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
We're the ones who (chicka) made you”
His manager Richard Preston follows behind as does his training partner Juan Diaz both wearing white collared jerseys with the Combat Consulting patch stitched over the left breast, Richard is carrying a flagpole. Behind them is Brüc-E sporting his new Jason hockeymask and the approved for vaginal use EDB shirt and an older black man in black jeans and a short sleeve black shirt, and what appears to be a cut man’s kit on his belt and wrist. The jeers are near deafening as Doucho struts toward the ring and garbage starts to litter the entrance ramp. Doucho pauses at ringside and spreads his arms and makes a “bring it on” gesture with both a hands as if to say “Your hatred sustains me”.
The enforcer, looking for more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie Horse her
Sorry Portia, but what’s Ellen DeGeneres
Have that I don't, are you telling me tenderness?
Well I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman
Give me my ventolin inhaler and 2 Xenadrin
And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then
Nail her, 'Baby say hello to my little friend'
As he hold this pose the camera briefly zooms in on his chest making the message on shirt legible.
Peace is a lie
There is only passion
Through passion I gain strength
Through strength I gain power
Through power I gain victory
Through victory my chains are broken
The rest of the entourage seems content to wait but Brüc-E snatches signs supporting some of Doucho’s opponents and makes a show of tearing them and mock wiping his ass. Doucho climbs halfway up the rings steps and pauses with one hand on the corner of the cage, he points up with one hand and says something that isn’t picked up by the camera.
“And that’s why… my love
You'll never live without,
I know you want me girl cause I can see you checking me out
And baby, you know, you know you want me too
Don’t try to deny it baby, I’m the only one for you”
Brüc-E takes the flagpole from Richard and unfurls the flag with the Combat Consulting Logo. He climbs the cage and lodges the flagpole in the corner above the door. Doucho smiles and removes his jacket revealing a large bull’s eye printed on the back. Juan gets a mic from the ring announcer and hands it to EDB.
“I am Elllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Dooooooooooooooouchooooooooooooooo aaaaaaaa Baaaaaaaaaaaggoooooooooooo!
And everybody inside this ring and everybody in the locker room and everybody here from the Big Dog and Arturius Strong at ringside to the guy in the bathroom cursing himself for having to take a shit now of all times already knows how this is going to go down. Now if you’ll excuse me; I have douching to do.
AS: Talk about the essence of arrogance.
BD: You know, he may be a douche wad but I kind of like the guy.
All ten men stare at one another as the bell rings. In a giant clusterfuck, they all begin pounding away at one another. Ben Eckford nails some clubbing shots to Paddy Connors before chucking him into the cage wall. Dann SaVage and Christopher O’Toole are duking it out with punches. El Doucho, Marty Valens and James Chaos seem to be working together right off, taking turns nailing kicks to a quickly downed Justice Blackstone. Marcus Corvo, meanwhile, has Lucas Peek in a corner and is wailing away on him with shots to his chest. Suddenly, O’Toole grabs SaVage by the back of the head and goes to chuck him out of the open cage door, but SaVage hangs onto the top rope and falls onto the apron. Eckford grabs Connors by the throat and then tosses him into the cage wall to an “ohhhhhh” from the crowd. The three men beating on Justice now pick him up. Valens holds Justice while Chaos backs up and goes to nail a crescent kick on him. Justice ducks and the kid nails Valens in the jaw. Chaos looks at Valens for a moment before turning around and getting a dropkick from Justice. Doucho has gotten the hell away from the now free and fired up Justice as he moves over to the corner and helps Corvo kick Lucas in the gut repeatedly. Justice grabs James Chaos by the head, brings him up and over with a snap suplex, then gets up and holds on to nail another. The crowd claps as Justice gets up, hangs onto Chaos and nails another! He finally lets go and stands up, but Eckford comes from behind and goes to chuck him out of the cage door. Justice gets tangled in the ropes and manages to remain in the ring, though.
AS: Justice managing to stay in and so far nobody’s been chucked out, but the action’s pretty fast here.
BD: Yeah, man. I’m having trouble keeping up with it all.
Corvo turns on Doucho in the corner, nailing some shots to him before he sets him up in the corner in front of Lucas. Marcus backs up to about mid ring before he charges the corner. From out of nowhere, O’Toole leaps up and catches him with a flying leg lariat that catches the big man in the jaw and sends him stumbling against the ropes. O’Toole gets up, but gets charged by Doucho and nailed with a big boot for his troubles. Doucho turns to the corner and then goes to charge and nail a big boot to Lucas, but Lucas moves out of the way to cheers and Doucho gets caught on the top rope. Lucas then grabs him by the back of the head and slams his skull into the cage wall several times. Paddy is up on the other side of the ring and exchanging shots with Valens until Eckford comes behind them and grabs the back of both of their heads and slams their skulls together. They both stumble back and Eckford turns around to get caught with a leaping side kick from James Chaos. The big man staggers toward the ropes and gets caught with a back body drop from Justice that sends him over the ropes and to the apron. Justice rushes into the ropes and springs off the second rope with a leaping dropkick that connects and causes Eckford to teeter on the apron with one hand on the top rope. SaVage comes over and nails some punches on him before backing up a few steps and charging toward him. Eckford falls to the apron and pulls down the top rope in time for SaVage to fly right over it and land on the ringside floor.
AS: Dann SaVage is gone and so much for Dann trying to avenge his loss from a few weeks ago.
BD: Did you expect anything else than this?
Eckford rolls into the ring and gets some stomps rained down on him by Doucho. Paddy is double teaming Corvo with O’Toole as the two are playing a game of “can you top this” chopping him in the chest over and over. Marty has Lucas across the middle rope and is choking the life out of him. Chaos is on Justice, nailing some mounted punches on him. He pulls Justice up after a while, then whips him toward the cage door. Justice reverses at the last minute and sends Chaos into the ropes instead and catches him with a standing dropkick. Doucho has pulled Eckford up and chucks him into the cage wall face first. Eckford bounces off of it and Doucho backs up a few steps, then charges and nails a big boot that catches Eckford in the chest and knocks him to the apron against the cage wall. Before Doucho can do anything else, Connors and O’Toole catch him from behind by grabbing him and to cheers, chucking him into the cage wall. He leans against the ropes for a moment, but comes to regret his decision as O’Toole rushes into the ropes, then gets caught by Connors, who hip tosses him into a super liger kick that catches Doucho’s skull.
AS: Sick Liger kick from O’Toole onto Doucho and this is really starting to break down, Dog.
BD: I’ve seen lots of fights outside of my local liquor store that looked like this, man. This is nothing new to me.
Justice has Chaos up near the door and is trying to dump him onto the apron. Chaos reaches down and rakes Justice in the eyes, causing him to set him down. Corvo is in the corner with Lucas, nailing some shoulder thrusts on him. He grabs Lucas by the back of the head and goes to dump him over the top rope. Lucas grabs a hold of the rope, though and resists. Corvo then reaches down and goes to dump him over the ropes. Suddenly, Eckford and Valens come from behind and grab Marcus by his feet. They try to lift him up, but to no avail. Chaos come over and joins the effort and again, they try and get the big man up but to no avail. He grabs a hold of the ropes for dear life as now Connors comes over and helps. Even O’Toole sees what’s going on and joins in. The group finally gets him off his feet and raises him up, but he fights them as they start to get him over the ropes. He rakes Chaos in the eyes and shoves Connors back. The group falters of r a bit, but Doucho comes to help out and they finally manage to get Corvo over! He tumbles to the apron and out of the door to cheers from the crowd!
AS: It took everyone but Justice to get Marcus Corvo out of there! Talk about a group effort!
BD: Yo, they need to do the same to Douchelord and Eggboy. They’re not small guys, either.
The group admires their handiwork for a second, then turns on each other with everyone nailing shots to each other. During it all, they fail to see Justice climbing to the top of the cage. The group becomes a cluster of punches and kicks before a few people eye Justice on the top of the cage. Confused for a second, they’re caught off guard as Justice stands on the top of the cage, then leaps off onto everyone, causing the cluster of bodies to fall to the mat and go against the cage! The crowd roars their approval and even starts a “holy shit” chant!
AS: I think Justice may have just fucked himself up after that!
BD: He should have known that it wasn’t going to tickle……
Valens is the first one up. He grabs Justice, who is holding his rib cage and chucks him toward the ropes over by the door. Justice gets caught in the ropes and turns to see Valens coming at him. He gets his feet up and nails Valens in the jaw, sending him stumbling back. He tries to catch his breath, but Chaos is up and comes at him. Justice lowers a shoulder and goes to launch Chaos out the door, but we see the door close JUST in time thanks to Eric Sparrow. Chaos rattles against the door and falls to the apron, then back into the ring. Justice glares at Sparrow, then rains some stomps into Chaos. O’Toole is up over in the corner. Just as he gets to his feet, Doucho comes at him and nails a splash. O’Toole stumbles out of the corner and Doucho lifts him up. Just as Paddy makes it up, he tosses O’Toole at him and the two collide. The referees have gotten the door open again, shooing Sparrow away from it for the time being. Eckford sees this and kicks Lucas Peek in the gut several times before he doubles him over and lifts him in a power bomb position. He goes to chuck Lucas out, but Lucas manages to slide down his back at the last moment and instead goes to try and dump Eckford over.
AS: The action is picking back up and I’m not sure I can keep up with it all. How about you, Dog?
BD: If Lucas gets Eggboy over and out, I’ll be pissed.
Lucas tries desperately to get the big man Eckford out, but after a few skull shots from Ben, Lucas staggers into the ring and gets lifted up, then planted by Valens who nails The Day the Music Died. The crowd boos this. Valens is trying to get up when Chaos springs at him and nails a buzz saw kick. Sparrow applauds this from the ringside area. Chaos gets up and looks down at the motionless Valens for a moment. He looks up and just as he does, Connors springs into action and nails a Boston Brew super kick on him! The fans pop for this, but as Connors straightens himself out, O’Toole runs out of nowhere and flips over with his Euro Pop piledriver that seems like it’s knocked Paddy into next week! O’Toole gets up, but as soon as he does, Justice grabs him, lifts him up and nails Unyielding Resolve to take him out. Justice gets up, but Eckford is away from the ropes, grabs him and nails his Xtreme Xecution to fold Justice in half. Eckford gets up, but Doucho grabs him and flips him over quickly before he drops him down with a Tea Bag! The crowd is going crazy at this point and chanting “this is awesome”. Doucho grabs Eckford and tries to whip him into the ropes by the door, but Eckford falls to his knees and resists. Doucho lets go of him and instead focuses on the downed O’Toole. He grabs him and goes to toss him through the door by the back of his head, but Christopher rolls through onto the apron, then back into the ring. Doucho is seemingly pissed at this when he gets some shots and kicks from behind. He turns around and James Chaos looks like a deer in the head lights of an oncoming car.
AS: Remember just a few Meltdowns ago when Chaos was supposed to be Doucho’s tag partner against Marcus Corvo and Paddy? I think it’d be a safe assumption that Doucho hasn’t forgotten….
BD: Man, I don’t even remember what happened yesterday.
Doucho nails a knee to Chaos’s gut, then grabs him by the back of the head and goes to chuck him over the ropes and through the door. Chaos lands on the apron much like O’Toole did, but he gets up instead of rolling into the ring. As soon as he reaches his feet, Doucho charges and nails a big boot that sends Chaos right out of the door and onto Sparrow, who’s doing his best to fight the referees and close the door to the cage to keep James in the match. The crowd pops at both of them laid out on the ringside floor. Doucho turns around and gets some European uppercuts from Valens.
AS: James Chaos is gone, Dog! And the numbers are gradually decreasing.
BD: Did you expect the numbers to get bigger, Strong?
O’Toole and Lucas Peek are going at it in a corner now with Lucas nailing some kicks to him. Justice is now nailing some kicks to Eckford. He grabs Ben by the arm and whips him into the ropes. He goes for a jumping heel kick on him, but Ben catches him and plants him with a power bomb. The crowd “ohhhhhhhs” this. Eckford gets up and from behind, Connors nails some shots to him. He grabs Ben by the head and goes for a bulldog, but Eckford shoves him into the cage wall. Connors staggers out into the middle of the ring and Eckford catches him with a side slam. Just as he gets done that, Lucas whips O’Toole across the ring. Eckford sees him coming and throws him in the air, causing him to fall down right on top of Connors. Eckford looks down at this, then eyes Peek and charges him in the corner. Lucas moves and Eckford stumbles out of the corner, only to get a Peek Drop from Lucas! Lucas gets to his feet to cheers and eyes Valens and Doucho fighting near the door. He seems to be sizing them up for a few moments before he charges looking for a double clothesline on them. Doucho gets the hell out of dodge, but Valens manages to catch Lucas and back body drop him over the ropes, through the cage door and to the ringside floor with a splat.
AS: God damn, Lucas just got the shit knocked out of him by Valens. Not to mention eliminated.
BD: The idiot eliminated himself from what I saw. Why run toward the door like that?
Lucas sits up holding his lower back and shakes his head with a grimace as he gets to his feet. The fans clap for him in the ringside area though. Meanwhile, in the ring, O’Toole has gotten up and as Valens turns to face everyone in the ring, his eyes meet O’Toole’s. The fans cheer a bit as the two move in, nose to nose, exchange some words and then begin firing shot after shot on one another. Valens knees O’Toole in the gut and then smirks as he grabs his arm and fires him into the ropes. He telegraphs a back body drop and O’Toole grabs the ropes to the stop himself. He grins for a moment before he charges Valens and then nails a Euro Pop that lays Valens out. O’Toole gets up, but suddenly gets caught with a springboard dropkick from Justice, who was on the apron.
AS: Everyone in this match is just laying it all on the line. The match has gone on for what? Nearly twenty minutes now? These guys have to be gassed.
BD: Justice don’t look gassed right now, Strong.
Justice gets to his feet and catches Connors with a belly to belly overhead suplex as he staggers into him. Doucho is up in the corner and Justice charges in at him. Even though Doucho moves, Justice climbs up onto the middle rope, then onto the top rope. Doucho turns around and Justice grabs the cage, adjusting himself so that he’s at an angle before he flies off the top rope and catches Doucho with a flying clothesline. He gets up, but Eckford charges and goes for a big boot on him. Justice ducks, then shoves Eckford forward into the corner by the cage door. He then charges in and nails a flying leg lariat on him. Eckford slumps in the corner and Justice gets down and tries to dump him over the ropes. Connors comes over and tries to help out. They get Eckford up over the ropes, but he grabs Connors by the head and gets him teetering on the ropes as well. O’Toole comes from out of nowhere and grabs Connors by the legs and dumps him to the outside to boos. Valens comes behind him and sneakily low blows him before he dumps him over to the outside as well.
AS: A double elimination, back to back! Paddy Connors is gone and so isn’t Christopher O’Toole!
BD: We’re down to our final four now. Justice, Eggboy, Douchewad and Elvis.
AS: Indeed, one of these four will be going to Red, White and Bruised to challenge for the Southwestern title.
Eckford shoves Justice back and with that, it seems to dawn on everyone that they’re the last four left. Each person seems to eye the others for a moment with the crowd clapping and trying to will them on now. Suddenly, Eckford and Doucho lunge at Justice as Valens hangs back and rests against a corner. Eckford and Doucho get Justice against a corner and take turns nailing kicks to his midsection before Eckford tells Doucho to back off a bit, then nails some elbow strikes to Justice’s jaw. This rocks him, but it’s nothing compared to what happens when Doucho gets Eckford to back up and then raises his foot up and starts to choke Justice. The crowd starts a loud “let’s go Justice” chant as Doucho lowers his foot, then pulls him out of the corner. He lifts him up and brings him down with a side slam across his knee as Eckford bounces off of the ropes and then drops and elbow across Justice’s chest as Doucho lets go of him.
AS: Some double teaming on Justice here and I’d say he’s in a bad way.
BD: I love what Elvis is doing, just hanging out in the corner. It’s a smart move.
Eckford and Doucho admire their handiwork for a moment before Doucho picks up Justice and then gives him to Eckford. He tells him to hold onto him as he backs up a few steps and goes for a big boot on him, but Justice moves aside. He leaps up and kicks Eckford in the jaw to cheers, sending Ben stumbling back against the ropes. Doucho charges at him, but Justice drop toe holds him, then grabs his foot and applies a grapevine ankle lock to the big man. Doucho screams as Justice torques on his ankle. This don’t last long, though as Eckford kicks Justice square in the jaw. He grabs him by the hair and then chucks him into the ropes by the cage door. Justice goes over the top rope, but manages to hang on and skin the cat over and back into the ring. The crowd cheers for this, though Eckford seems pissed off upon seeing that Justice didn’t go out and charges at him. Justice ducks a clothesline and as Eckford hits the ropes, Justice dropkicks him to the back and knocks the big man over the ropes and to the ringside floor.
AS: ECKFORD IS GONE! WE’RE DOWN TO THREE PEOPLE!
BD: Poor Eggboy, I had him as a favorite in this match too.
Justice turns around, but gets a boot to the gut by Valens for his troubles. Valens nails some chops to his chest, then whips him across the ring, lifts him up and plants him with The Day the Music Died! Justice bounces off the mat and Valens gets up with a smirk. That don’t last long, though as Doucho grabs him, powers him up and nails a running gut wrench power bomb into the cage wall on him. Marty falls to the apron between the ropes and cage, screaming in pain, but Doucho kicks him a few times, then pulls him up and rakes his face across the cage wall. When he drops Marty down, his forehead is bleeding pretty bad. He picks Marty up and whips him into a corner. He charges in and nails a running splash on him. Just as he backs up, Justice turns him around and even though he seems dazed, nails some shots to him. Doucho knees him in the whips him across the ring into another corner. He charges in and splashes him before he grabs him by the head and lifts him up to sit him on the top rope. Just as Doucho seems to about to go for maybe a superplex or something, Valens comes across the ring and nails some shots to his back. He turns Doucho around and nails some chops to his chest. He grabs Doucho by the head and pulls him over to the cage door, where he tries to hoist him over the ropes. Doucho nails some punches to his skull and then rakes him in the eye to send him back. Unable to see, Valens staggers around for a second before Doucho grabs him by the hair and his jumpsuit and like a spear, shoots him through the top and middle ropes to chuck him out of the cage!
AS: Valens is gone! We’re down to our final two!
BD: Here we go, the douche wad against Justice.
Doucho eyes Justice on the top rope with a smirk and strolls over to him. He nails some shots to make sure that he’s still out of it, then he climbs to the middle rope. He hoists Justice up and then climbs to the top rope with the fans cheering their lungs out. Doucho hoists Justice up and goes to dump him over the top of the cage, but Justice responds by grabbing the very top of the cage and kicking Justice repeatedly in the chest. This causes the big man to lean against the corner of the cage for a moment. Justice gets down and after some knees to the big man, gets him up and pulls him to the top of the cage. He goes to chuck him over, but Doucho rests on the top of the cage and hangs on for dear life, even when Justice begins nailing some shots to his lower back and kidney area. Finally seeing no other alternative, Justice climbs onto the cage in front of Douch and lifts him into a sitting position. Now with both man having one leg in the cage and one out, Justice chops Doucho across the chest, though Doucho responds with a chop of his own.
AS: They’re at the very top of the cage! This isn’t going to end up well…..
BD: YOU THINK?!
They trade chops with each other again, but Doucho reaches over and rakes Justice’s eyes. He seems to grab him by the head and maybe set up for some kind of suplex, but Justice nails some rapid shots to his side and gets out of it. Justice teeters, though and falls back against the top of the cage. He uses this, though, to raise his right leg up and kick Doucho several times. He then grabs onto the cage and lifts his other leg up. He wraps them around Doucho’s head and goes for a hurricanrana on the big man that would send him tumbling off the cage. Doucho manages to stop Justice’s momentum, though. Justice grabs a hold of the cage to hang on for dear life but Doucho grabs his legs and pries them off of his neck. In a split second, he flips Justice over and sends him tumbling to the ringside floor in a huge fall as the crowd pops at this and starts a “holy shit” chant.
AS: THE ERA OF THE DOUCHE IS UPON US, DOG! DOUCHO DID IT! HE OUTLASTED NINE OTHER MEN IN THIS HELLACIOUS MATCH TO EARN A SHOT AT HIS FIRST GOLD HERE IN ROP!
BD: Calm down, man. Doucho managed to win here, but can he beat whoever’s the Southwestern Heavyweight Champion in July? That’s the question.
TL: Here is your winner and the man who will get a Southwestern Heavyweight title match at Red, White and Bruised, EL DOUCHO BAGGO!
And with that, we go to a merchandise commercial as Doucho sits on top of the cage with his hands raised as his music plays.
We go to something that happened earlier today! Where are we going, you ask? Simple! A old folks retirement home.....we see Bryan Deas there for some reason! So, lets see what he is doing there!
Bryan: Good evening, Ring of Pride! This is the old folks home where old people go to spend the rest of their days and this is the site for the future home of one Mr. Adam Linn!
Bryan pauses for a minute before speaking.
Bryan: That’s right, Linn! Once I beat your ass so bad, you will have no choice but to spend the rest of your days here! But, don’t worry....I got you all setup!
Bryan points to a door which has Linn’s name on it.
Bryan: See....you even got your own room! How cool is that? I just wish I could be like you, one day! Oh....
Bryan stops to smirk before speaking.
Bryan: I can’t be like you, cause I will still be kicking ass and taking names while you will be here just being the lazy fuck that you are! Face it Linn....this is YOUR destiny! Being a lazy bastard!!! But, don’t worry.....
Bryan then points to 3 old ladies in wheelchairs!
Bryan: You have chicks to keep you company! Face it Linn....your day is here....when I retire your ass! So...until then, see you in hell, son!
With that said, we fade back to ringside.
TL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Dog Collar match and is set for one fall. Introducing first………….
“Why I Sing the Blues” begins to play and from the back walks Bryan Deas. He raises a hand up to cheers from the fans before he walks down the entrance aisle, slapping some hands on the way before he slides into the ring. He gets to his feet and then gets onto the middle rope, raising his hand in the air to cheers.
TL: From Hollywood, California…….”Ballistic” Bryan Deas!
AS: Great. The resident punching bag of RoP is out here. How long do you think this one will last, Dog? Five minutes?
BD: I dunno, man. As long as I’ve got some shots here, I don’t care how long his one goes.
"Legendary status" hits as we hear the rev of a finely tuned 427 chevy Chevelle SS.
Linn hits the ramp in his Chevelle and comes to a stop flooring the gas and redlines the engine. He Lets off the gas and wearing his old school throwback Dylan Shirt and his chains including his "Iconic Thug" medallion, He steps out and the crowd goes insane. He begins to bump his arms to the music as his children hit the stage dancing with their father. Brandi walks out wearing a "Linn Forever" Shirt. Linn blows them all a kiss and then turns to the ring. He points at deas and then leans into the car and pulls out his Juggalo Championship Belt. He tosses it over his shoulder and grabs the mic.
Linn: You said i always lose with a belt on the line... Well bitch, I'm puttin it up... Time to prove who can tempt fate... you scared ass bitch... Put up your Ballistic title and lets make it real...
The crowd goes crazy as well as linn throws the mic into the car and then bails down the ramp sliding in and jumping to his feet holding up the juggalo championship much to the delight of the crowd. He removes his necklaces and hands them to his kids and then pulls off his shirt and tosses it to the crowd. Showing he is ready for blood.
AS: Here’s Linn and he looks ready to rumble.
BD: Thank you, Michael Buffer.
The bell rings just as Mike Donovan gets the chain connecting both men secured onto Deas’ collar. Immediately, both men begin circling one another. As if the idea hits him suddenly, Deas stops dead in his tracks and then grabs the chain, tugging on it to try and pull Linn toward him. Linn tugs on the chain almost immediately himself. The tug of war between the two seems to go on for several long moments before Deas suddenly lets loose and charges at Linn. He goes for a clothesline, but Linn ducks and gets behind Deas to wrap the chain around his neck and begin choking him. Linn cranks back on it and after about a minute, Deas’ face starts to turn purple. He falls down to a knee, then to both knees. Linn tightens his grip on the chain, preventing Deas from getting any air as he starts to fade.
AS: You know, right now Deas kind of reminds me of that girl from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that turns into a blueberry.
BD: Linn’s bringing it, man. He has to though, this is last time out here. He’s leaving after this one.
Deas seems out of it now with his face being a deep shade of purple as Linn eases up on the chain. He pulls it away from Deas’ neck and wraps it around his fist as best as he can before he starts to rain down punches into the kneeling Deas’ skull. After a barrage of about nine or so shots, Deas falls forward. Linn grabs him by the hair and pulls him into a corner before throwing Deas face first into the turnbuckle pad. He sends him face first into it again, then again. Deas falls to the mat. Linn goes to pick him up, but Deas wraps the chain around Linn’s foot and trips him. Deas gets to his knees, then up to his feet slowly. Linn’s on his hands and knees and with a sick smirk on his face, Deas grabs the chain and begins to whip Linn across the back with it. Linn screams and quickly rushes into the ropes, but grabbing them makes no difference to Bryan, as he continues to lash Linn repeatedly with the chain. Linn tries to get to his feet, but Deas wraps the chain around his head and pulls him up to his feet.
AS: Deas is now in control. Lucky us. This is the portion of the match where I get lulled to sleep by his boredom, folks.
BD: It’d not as bad if you have a few shots before the match like I did, man.
Deas turns so that he’s back to back with Linn, then pulls on the chain and basically hangs Linn. Deas staggers for a moment before he takes some giant steps backward and then falls into the corner, smashing Linn between him and the pads. Linn screams, but Deas stumbles out of the corner with Linn still hanging behind him. He then gets a good grip on the chain and flips Linn over his shoulders and face first onto the mat! Linn’s momentum causes him to go into a kneeling position though he’s obviously dazed and out of it. Deas takes the chance to back up, then runs at him and nails a knee shot to his skull. Linn falls backward and Deas smirks as he looks down at him for a second. He pulls Linn up and goes to whip him into a corner. Linn gets his foot up and prevents himself from colliding with it in time. Deas can be heard grunting “you son of a bitch” before he charges at Linn. Linn drops to the canvas and pulls the top rope down to send Deas to the ringside floor.
AS: Deas just well………he fucked himself over there.
BD: I wonder what they can do on the floor though, man. They have that chain on their necks……..
Deas starts to get up and Linn pulls the chain into the ring before he finally gets it tight enough to pull Deas up . He tugs as hard as he can and gets Deas off of his feet and hanging him a bit, starts to tighten his grip on the chain and work his way over to Deas. Finally, he grabs some of the chain and with Deas still hanging, begins to lash him in the chest with it over and over. The chain digs deep into Deas’ chest and eventually causes blood to drip from the cuts it’s making. Finally, Linn wraps the chain around his fist and nails some shots to Bryan’s skull that knock him into la-la land it seems. Linn smirks and pulls Deas into the ring. He keeps little chain between them and turns his back to Bryan before he pulls forward on him and backpacks him over to a corner. He stands in front of it for a few seconds, then turns and rushes into it, ramming Deas into the corner. He steps out, then does it again before he drops the chain and leaves Deas leaning against the corner and breathing heavily. Bryan turns just as Linn goes as far as he can across the ring. He takes a running start and goes for a splash on Deas, but Bryan moves. Linn crashes into the corner, turns around and gets lashes from the chain for his troubles.
AS: My god, this match is certainly turning out to be brutal, folks. You may think that chain don’t hurt but it’s hard as hell. It’s an industrial strength chain and each link has some weight behind it. Lashing someone like this will not only break their skin, but it will also cause the weight of the links to slam into you. It’s a double whammy.
BD: Oh yeah and Adam looks like he could tell you about that right now.
Deas continues to lash Linn for what seems like close to a minute before he finally stops. We see that a cut above Linn’s right eye has formed and caused him to bleed. With a snicker, Deas grabs Linn and sets him up on the top turnbuckle and facing the fans. He then hooks Linn’s feet on the ropes and flips him down into a tree of woe. He stomps his face a few times, then gets down and slides out of the ring. Deas gets behind the post and pulls Linn’s head toward him. He takes the chain and begins to wrap it around Linn’s neck and the post. Finally, he places his foot against the post and pulls back on the chain, choking Linn. Linn’s face gives a look of anguish and quickly turns pink, then red, then purple as blood and air is cut off to him. Deas viciously pulls the chain back as hard as he can. Finally, as drool starts to come from Linn’s mouth, he lets up and slides back into the ring as the fans chant “this is awesome”. He grabs Linn by the head and pulls him up. With the chain still around his neck a few times, Deas tightens it around his neck, then sets his head up on his shoulder before he brings him down with a neck breaker. Linn’s motionless as Deas covers him. One…………Two………….NO!
AS: There’s the first cover of the match and I’ll be damned, Linn still has some fight left in him.
BD: I thought Deas would have squeezed all of it out like an orange the way he was choking him.
Deas knees and glares at the referee before he gets up to his feet and stomps down on Linn several times. He then pulls on the chain and gets Linn in a sitting position. He pulls on the chain until Linn gets to his feet in a dazed and confused state. Deas grabs the clip connecting the chain to Linn’s collar and lifts him up for a few moments, choking him. Deas then drops him down onto his feet for a moment, then falls backward and flips Linn over by his collar. Linn falls into the mat hard and lays motionless for several seconds before he tries to crawl into a corner. He sits up in it and Deas charges at him, looking for a running boot. Linn moves at the last second, rolling out of the ring. Deas’ foot connects with the ring post. He holds it and howls in pain as Linn gets to his feet outside of the ring and tugs on the chain, causing Deas to fall against the ropes and hang onto them for dear life. Linn gets up and climbs onto the apron. He nails some shots to Bryan’s skull, then nails a hot shot that brings him throat first across the top rope. Deas tumbles back into the ring and Linn rolls in, like a predator smelling blood. He waits for Deas to slowly get up before he leaps up and nails a FUCK YOU! Deas lays face first and motionless for several long moments before Linn rolls him over and hooks a leg. One……………Two……………….NO! Deas gets a shoulder up!
AS: Bryan Deas kicking out of a Fuck You and I think Linn’s having a tough time fathoming that.
BD: I’m having a tough time understanding you and your big words.
Linn gets to his feet and pulls Deas up. He grabs him, attempting to go for a Whiskey Sour, but Bryan falls behind him. He grabs Linn to go for a German suplex, but Adam rushes into the ropes and uses his momentum to thrust back on Deas and get him off of him. Deas staggers back as Linn seems to catch his breath for a moment. Suddenly, Bryan yanks on the chain and pulls Linn toward him. Linn stumbles right into a Ballistically Insane choke slam! Deas gets down on him and hooks a leg. One………..Two…………NO! Linn kicks out! The fans clap their approval and Deas gets on his knees, taking deep breaths and shaking his head.
AS: Talk about throwing everything you’ve got at each other, they’ve gone back and forth with some of their well known moves on each other.
BD: Maybe it’s toughness, maybe it’s stupidity. But both seem to have it.
Deas gets to his feet and kicks Linn a few times. He then eyes the corner turnbuckle and climbs it. He gets to the top rope and then looks down at a motionless Linn before he dives off with a Ball Buster head butt, but Linn rolls out of the way and Deas collides with the mat only. He holds onto his chest as he sits up and starts to get to his feet. Linn grabs the chain and yanks on it, causing Deas to stumble into him. He wraps the chain around his neck a few times, then lifts him up onto his shoulders and nails a 402 Drop! He hangs on for the cover! One………………..Two…………….Three!
AS: It’s over! It’s over! Linn picked up the win and what a way to get sent off, huh?
BD: I guess, both men look pretty screwed up though.
TL: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner…………ADAM LINN!
The fans clap as both men lay in the ring for several moments. A loud “Thank You, Adam” chant starts up as Linn sits up. The referee helps take the collar off of his neck and then goes to do the same to Deas as Linn gets to his feet and looks around at the fans, who are on their feet, applauding him for his effort in the match. He raises a hand and then bows to them as their chant gets even louder. Deas is now on his hands and knees. He kneels for a moment and looks over at Adam for a few moments before he nods. DJ Clay has come down to the ring as well and joins Linn in the ring, clapping for a few seconds before the two shake hands, then hug. As their hug ends, Deas is up and approaches them. He extends his hand out to Adam, who takes it and shakes with w a smirk and then raises Deas’ hand up in the air. Suddenly, he yanks on his arm and pulls Bryan into a belly to belly suplex. As he gets up, Clay gets down on the mat and slaps on a Welcome to New Jersey that causes Deas to scream in agony.
AS: Looks like Linn and Clay are having some fun with Deas.
BD: But the bottom line is that this was it for Adam. His last match. His swan song.
AS: Yeah and in my opinion, these two just stole the show with what they just did.
Red is a segment
RoP presents Primer Anniversario
April 4th, 2011
University Field
El Paso, TX
Attendance: 1,500
We go to a live shot of University Field in El Paso. The fans in attendance are screaming on top of their lungs as “I Got to Have It” hits the sound system and Simon Sensation walks out from the back to cheers. He slaps some hands on his way to the ring and uses the stairs to get in. He pulls a microphone out of his back pocket and lets his music die off.
Simon: It’s hard to believe that just a year ago, the first ever Ring of Pride show aired on our website. Of course, the show that aired a year ago and what you’re watching right now are two different things but that’s to be expected. Wrestlers have come and gone. The faces in the locker room have changed. The landscape of the company has changed as well. But I don’t look at it as a bad thing and neither should you fans. You see, things evolve. It’s just the natural course of things. Given time, things will morph and they will become better and this company has been no exception.
He pauses for a moment and looks at the entrance area that he had come out of just moments before.
Simon: The only people that were here for our first show last year were that remain are Stu-E Price……..
The crowd gives a huge pop at this.
Simon: And Lucas Peek……………..
Again, the crowd cheers at the mention of Lucas’ name.
Simon: Everyone else that was here at the beginning from Jay Millar to Dominic Zubrowka to Jonathan Cage to Mr. Rottentreats to Stephen Saint, they’ve all fallen by the wayside between then and now. But you know, I think it’s for the best. Because I think that over time, the best have remained while everyone else has been weeded out so that the people who remain want to see this company succeed and want to make it something special just like I do. When I looked around the locker room before the show and I saw everyone getting ready, I saw a bunch of guys that want to come out here, bust their asses and make sure that this show is one of the best ones that we’ve ever put on. When I saw all of the faces of those backstage tonight, I saw it in their eyes. I saw it etched onto their faces. They’re hungry, they know that tonight is going to be their shot at immortality and showing the world what they’re capable of. For most of them, this is their first shot at the big time. This is their first chance to get a spotlight in any shape or form and yeah, there’s even a few people back there who know that this could possibly be their last shot at glory. But the thing is that they all came together tonight, they’re all gathered in the back and ready to give you fans a wild night and not only come back here to the place where Ring of Pride ran it’s first show to celebrate the past and revel in what was, but to look to the future, their future and prepare for what will be.
He takes a deep breath and then turns his head so that he’s looking over at the ringside commentator’s table.
Simon: And keeping with that line of thinking…..looking to the future…….I want to talk to you, Stu.
He now turns so that he’s completely looking at Stu. He approaches that side of the ring and leans his forearms against the top rope as he smirks.
Simon: I watched that excuse for a show that you put on two weeks ago with my talent and I think that I speak for anyone with common sense when I say that well.......it was a disaster. I can stand here before everyone here in El Paso, everyone at home and even you, Stu and firmly put my foot down and say that we will NEVER be going to that shithole England again. Hell, I can firmly say that Fred Estridge and Peter Roberts will NEVER work here ever again. Everything about that show, I want to put in the past. I just want to fucking throw every single copy of it’s DVDs into a giant dumpster and have a huge ass bonfire. I want to wipe it completely from everyone’s memory.
He sighs and shakes his head.
Simon: But I know that I can’t exactly do that. But what I can do, Stu, is right that wrong inside of my own mind. I can take action and make sure that while that scourge on my company’s legacy will forever be there, that the man who made that scourge happen was justly punished for putting me and everyone else through that bullshit.
The crowd grows silent at this point and Stu’s staring a hole through Simon as the owner of Ring of Pride leans over the top rope.
Simon: Stu, I’m too smart to let you go from this company as a wrestler. I know the people like you and I know that there’s money to be made with you sticking around and hey......I’m just like everyone else. I love money. Especially when I got to do shit to get it. But as far as this crap with you being out here all night goes?
He motions at Stu and then furrows his brown.
Simon: It ain’t going to happen anymore.........get your ass to the locker room. You’re no longer our color guy out here. After that disgrace of a show you made two weeks ago, the only color you add to this company is whatever color puke is because that’s what I was doing that entire show and that’s what I do whenever you talk out here.
Stu just shakes his head and Simon shrugs as he takes a step back from the ropes.
Simon: What are you still here for? I told you to get your ass to back! Do I need to take a sip of tea and lose all of my teeth for your English ass to comprehend that I want you out of here?
Stu stands up to boos from the crowd and pulls his headset off. He tosses it down onto the table and then shakes his head as he places his hands on his hips and begins to walk around the ring to the entrance aisle. Simon just rolls his eyes.
Simon: Fucking drama queen. Anyway, with Stu gone, that means that the commentators table has an open seat. Now, I could have put Mick Garrity in that seat, hell I could have filled it myself and I’m sure in either case that it would have worked out well. But there’s a guy backstage that’s been around this company since our first show, he’s a guy that’s been loyal to me and this product beyond belief and he’s been waiting for a chance like this to pop up so that he could take it. He’s no stranger to you all, I’m sure. Ladies and gentlemen........our NEW color commentator..........BIG DOG!
With a look of glee on his face, he points to the entrance area and House Of Pain’s “Jump Around” blasts out of the sound system. Out actually walks Big Dog himself with a black RoP shirt that has England’s flag on the back with a big red X over it. His Jeans seem ripped here and there but for once he is walking instead of staggering about opening up his arms like he was welcoming the boos and jeers of the fans gesturing them to get it all out of their system while he supports a wide shit eating smirk across his face flicking the toothpick between his lips.
It had been a while since the fans had seen their creative executive, they still had no love for him, Dog walks around like he was actually going to slap hands with the fans just to yank his away at the last moment, making some lewd gestures to the females in the crowd while making his way to ringside he stops to show off his hate for England for the cameras before hopping on the apron and getting in trough the ropes, after High fiving Simon he gestures for a microphone.
Dog: El Paso Texas welcome to the new and improved Ring Of Pride! Damn it feels great to be back home!
Simon nods approvingly and claps a bit while the fans boo all they can which makes Dog chuckle.
Dog: I missed you bastards too! You might not like that fact that from now on Stu-E actually has to EARN his paycheck just like everyone else, he can’t hide behind the desk and pretend to know about the psychology and storytelling that goes on between these ropes. Oh no poor Stu actually has to wrestle to pay for his tea biscuits now and you the fans get to enjoy some great commentary. I have been part of this company since the very first moment and I will be here even after everyone else is gone word to your mom’s I came to drop bombs Primer Anniversario will make you all forget about that little joke of a stint held in a country ruled by horsefaced cunts for generation to the next, in a country that has notoriety in bad teeth, silly accents and eating chips with every damn thing! I would have rather sent this great federation of ours to Scotland but then again they would have probably deep fried their DVDs anyway right? Your very own Talent Executive Mr. Creative himself is stepping up to raise this company to brand new heights after all I have sobered up and got my life back on track, Let’s start the festivities shall we bring in the first lucky fucks of the night!
He slams the microphone down and shakes hands with Simon before hopping out of the ring and putting on his headset immediately Strong speaks up.
AS: Wow you actually quit drinking?
BD: Nah man, I just do shots now easier to down quick during matches.
A quick look away and he does pour himself a shot of whiskey and gulps it down at once.
AS: Drinking on the job already, got a message for the folks watching at home?
BD: Sure, Stu-E sucks and everyone who thinks he has any talent should just move back to their council flat in UK!
TL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the Outlaw’s Stampede! The rules of the match are simple. Ten men will start in the ring at once. To eliminate someone, they must be thrown through the cage door or over the top of the cage with both feet touching the ringside mats. The winner of this match will get a Southwestern Heavyweight Championship match at Red, White and Bruised in July! Introducing first………….already in the ring, Dann SaVage!
SaVage raises his hands in the air to boos from the fans.
AS: SaVage debuted two weeks ago with a lackluster display in a four way match. Maybe he can get things on track here.
BD: My magic eight ball says his ass is grass, Strong.
TL And introducing participant number two, James Chaos!
The crowd boos as “One Step Closer” begins to play and Chaos strolls out from the back with Eric Sparrow at his side.
AS: Chaos has been on a skid recently but I could see him using this match to make an impact.
BD: Glad you can see that because I can’t………..
TL: And on his way to the ring, “The Dark Raven” Marcus Corvo!
AS: Corvo is unbeaten so far and definitely should be a dark horse here.
BD: Dark horse…….he’s white?
The fans pop as “Unknown Soldier” starts to play. Marcus makes his way out from back and eyes the cage and the few people in it as he makes his way around it to the door.
TL And from Kilgore, Texas……..Lucas Peek!
The crowd cheers a little as “Take Over” begins to play. Lucas makes his way out from the back and slaps a few hands as he makes his way down to the ring.
AS: Lucas recently went back to his roots and changed his name but will it lead to success is the question.
BD: The answer is no.
TL: And on his way to the ring, Marty “The Party” Valens!
“Peggy Sue” plays and Valens walks out with his guitar in hand, shaking his hips as he slowly gets down to the ringside to boos from the crowd.
AS: Valens has had a problem with his stablemates in the The All Night Dance Part as of late. I don’t see that changing here.
BD: Is that Elvis, man? The king lives! He lives!
TL: And from Boston, Massachusetts….Paddy Connors!
“State of Massachusetts” plays as Paddy walks out from the back to cheers and slaps some hands.
AS: Paddy has been on a roll as of late, but this will be a real challenge for him. He’s never been in a match like this before, I don’t think.
BD: And this is the portion of the show where I feel like going to the bathroom, folks.
AS: You need to slow down on the beer!
TL: And on his way to the ring…….Justice Blackstone!
“Innocence” plays as Justice makes his way out from the back and at a swift pace, gets down to the ring and steps up onto the apron before he shakes the cage wall.
AS: This man is my pick for this match. He had a great showing in his debut and I think he’s got a world of potential. Who’s your pick, Dog?
BD: I’d rather pick my nose than anyone in the ring right now.
TL: And making his debut, “X Rated” Ben Eckford!
“Destabilize” begins to play as the big man Eckford walks out from the back with a smirk as he looks at the ring.
AS: This guy is big, period. Of course, nobody knows much about Eckford so he’s something of possible spoiler in this match.
BD: The Spoiler is in this match? I thought he retired long ago?
TL: And on his way out, representing The All Night Dance Party, Christopher O’Toole!
“Insanity” plays as O’Toole makes his way out from the back to some cheers and slaps a few hands on his way down to the cage.
AS: Talk about ungrateful, that’s what this man is since he’s turned his back on Marty Valens lately. Marty brought him to the show, but now this guy’s got an ego and thinks he can go it alone.
BD: I’d rather he just go……period.
TL: And last but not least………….
The opening notes of “We made you” chime and we hear EMINEM ask
"Guess who, did you miss me?"
The curtain parts and El Doucho steps through wearing a black leather jacket over his usual attire there are two noticeable differences though his mask has been replaced by one with an open back held on with a mesh of black elastic bands the other is that his shirt is covered in a veritable wall of text. EDB saunters in doing an obscene half dance where he does a pelvic after each step in time with the music.
“When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rock star (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
We're the ones who (chicka) made you”
His manager Richard Preston follows behind as does his training partner Juan Diaz both wearing white collared jerseys with the Combat Consulting patch stitched over the left breast, Richard is carrying a flagpole. Behind them is Brüc-E sporting his new Jason hockeymask and the approved for vaginal use EDB shirt and an older black man in black jeans and a short sleeve black shirt, and what appears to be a cut man’s kit on his belt and wrist. The jeers are near deafening as Doucho struts toward the ring and garbage starts to litter the entrance ramp. Doucho pauses at ringside and spreads his arms and makes a “bring it on” gesture with both a hands as if to say “Your hatred sustains me”.
The enforcer, looking for more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie Horse her
Sorry Portia, but what’s Ellen DeGeneres
Have that I don't, are you telling me tenderness?
Well I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman
Give me my ventolin inhaler and 2 Xenadrin
And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then
Nail her, 'Baby say hello to my little friend'
As he hold this pose the camera briefly zooms in on his chest making the message on shirt legible.
Peace is a lie
There is only passion
Through passion I gain strength
Through strength I gain power
Through power I gain victory
Through victory my chains are broken
The rest of the entourage seems content to wait but Brüc-E snatches signs supporting some of Doucho’s opponents and makes a show of tearing them and mock wiping his ass. Doucho climbs halfway up the rings steps and pauses with one hand on the corner of the cage, he points up with one hand and says something that isn’t picked up by the camera.
“And that’s why… my love
You'll never live without,
I know you want me girl cause I can see you checking me out
And baby, you know, you know you want me too
Don’t try to deny it baby, I’m the only one for you”
Brüc-E takes the flagpole from Richard and unfurls the flag with the Combat Consulting Logo. He climbs the cage and lodges the flagpole in the corner above the door. Doucho smiles and removes his jacket revealing a large bull’s eye printed on the back. Juan gets a mic from the ring announcer and hands it to EDB.
“I am Elllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Dooooooooooooooouchooooooooooooooo aaaaaaaa Baaaaaaaaaaaggoooooooooooo!
And everybody inside this ring and everybody in the locker room and everybody here from the Big Dog and Arturius Strong at ringside to the guy in the bathroom cursing himself for having to take a shit now of all times already knows how this is going to go down. Now if you’ll excuse me; I have douching to do.
AS: Talk about the essence of arrogance.
BD: You know, he may be a douche wad but I kind of like the guy.
All ten men stare at one another as the bell rings. In a giant clusterfuck, they all begin pounding away at one another. Ben Eckford nails some clubbing shots to Paddy Connors before chucking him into the cage wall. Dann SaVage and Christopher O’Toole are duking it out with punches. El Doucho, Marty Valens and James Chaos seem to be working together right off, taking turns nailing kicks to a quickly downed Justice Blackstone. Marcus Corvo, meanwhile, has Lucas Peek in a corner and is wailing away on him with shots to his chest. Suddenly, O’Toole grabs SaVage by the back of the head and goes to chuck him out of the open cage door, but SaVage hangs onto the top rope and falls onto the apron. Eckford grabs Connors by the throat and then tosses him into the cage wall to an “ohhhhhh” from the crowd. The three men beating on Justice now pick him up. Valens holds Justice while Chaos backs up and goes to nail a crescent kick on him. Justice ducks and the kid nails Valens in the jaw. Chaos looks at Valens for a moment before turning around and getting a dropkick from Justice. Doucho has gotten the hell away from the now free and fired up Justice as he moves over to the corner and helps Corvo kick Lucas in the gut repeatedly. Justice grabs James Chaos by the head, brings him up and over with a snap suplex, then gets up and holds on to nail another. The crowd claps as Justice gets up, hangs onto Chaos and nails another! He finally lets go and stands up, but Eckford comes from behind and goes to chuck him out of the cage door. Justice gets tangled in the ropes and manages to remain in the ring, though.
AS: Justice managing to stay in and so far nobody’s been chucked out, but the action’s pretty fast here.
BD: Yeah, man. I’m having trouble keeping up with it all.
Corvo turns on Doucho in the corner, nailing some shots to him before he sets him up in the corner in front of Lucas. Marcus backs up to about mid ring before he charges the corner. From out of nowhere, O’Toole leaps up and catches him with a flying leg lariat that catches the big man in the jaw and sends him stumbling against the ropes. O’Toole gets up, but gets charged by Doucho and nailed with a big boot for his troubles. Doucho turns to the corner and then goes to charge and nail a big boot to Lucas, but Lucas moves out of the way to cheers and Doucho gets caught on the top rope. Lucas then grabs him by the back of the head and slams his skull into the cage wall several times. Paddy is up on the other side of the ring and exchanging shots with Valens until Eckford comes behind them and grabs the back of both of their heads and slams their skulls together. They both stumble back and Eckford turns around to get caught with a leaping side kick from James Chaos. The big man staggers toward the ropes and gets caught with a back body drop from Justice that sends him over the ropes and to the apron. Justice rushes into the ropes and springs off the second rope with a leaping dropkick that connects and causes Eckford to teeter on the apron with one hand on the top rope. SaVage comes over and nails some punches on him before backing up a few steps and charging toward him. Eckford falls to the apron and pulls down the top rope in time for SaVage to fly right over it and land on the ringside floor.
AS: Dann SaVage is gone and so much for Dann trying to avenge his loss from a few weeks ago.
BD: Did you expect anything else than this?
Eckford rolls into the ring and gets some stomps rained down on him by Doucho. Paddy is double teaming Corvo with O’Toole as the two are playing a game of “can you top this” chopping him in the chest over and over. Marty has Lucas across the middle rope and is choking the life out of him. Chaos is on Justice, nailing some mounted punches on him. He pulls Justice up after a while, then whips him toward the cage door. Justice reverses at the last minute and sends Chaos into the ropes instead and catches him with a standing dropkick. Doucho has pulled Eckford up and chucks him into the cage wall face first. Eckford bounces off of it and Doucho backs up a few steps, then charges and nails a big boot that catches Eckford in the chest and knocks him to the apron against the cage wall. Before Doucho can do anything else, Connors and O’Toole catch him from behind by grabbing him and to cheers, chucking him into the cage wall. He leans against the ropes for a moment, but comes to regret his decision as O’Toole rushes into the ropes, then gets caught by Connors, who hip tosses him into a super liger kick that catches Doucho’s skull.
AS: Sick Liger kick from O’Toole onto Doucho and this is really starting to break down, Dog.
BD: I’ve seen lots of fights outside of my local liquor store that looked like this, man. This is nothing new to me.
Justice has Chaos up near the door and is trying to dump him onto the apron. Chaos reaches down and rakes Justice in the eyes, causing him to set him down. Corvo is in the corner with Lucas, nailing some shoulder thrusts on him. He grabs Lucas by the back of the head and goes to dump him over the top rope. Lucas grabs a hold of the rope, though and resists. Corvo then reaches down and goes to dump him over the ropes. Suddenly, Eckford and Valens come from behind and grab Marcus by his feet. They try to lift him up, but to no avail. Chaos come over and joins the effort and again, they try and get the big man up but to no avail. He grabs a hold of the ropes for dear life as now Connors comes over and helps. Even O’Toole sees what’s going on and joins in. The group finally gets him off his feet and raises him up, but he fights them as they start to get him over the ropes. He rakes Chaos in the eyes and shoves Connors back. The group falters of r a bit, but Doucho comes to help out and they finally manage to get Corvo over! He tumbles to the apron and out of the door to cheers from the crowd!
AS: It took everyone but Justice to get Marcus Corvo out of there! Talk about a group effort!
BD: Yo, they need to do the same to Douchelord and Eggboy. They’re not small guys, either.
The group admires their handiwork for a second, then turns on each other with everyone nailing shots to each other. During it all, they fail to see Justice climbing to the top of the cage. The group becomes a cluster of punches and kicks before a few people eye Justice on the top of the cage. Confused for a second, they’re caught off guard as Justice stands on the top of the cage, then leaps off onto everyone, causing the cluster of bodies to fall to the mat and go against the cage! The crowd roars their approval and even starts a “holy shit” chant!
AS: I think Justice may have just fucked himself up after that!
BD: He should have known that it wasn’t going to tickle……
Valens is the first one up. He grabs Justice, who is holding his rib cage and chucks him toward the ropes over by the door. Justice gets caught in the ropes and turns to see Valens coming at him. He gets his feet up and nails Valens in the jaw, sending him stumbling back. He tries to catch his breath, but Chaos is up and comes at him. Justice lowers a shoulder and goes to launch Chaos out the door, but we see the door close JUST in time thanks to Eric Sparrow. Chaos rattles against the door and falls to the apron, then back into the ring. Justice glares at Sparrow, then rains some stomps into Chaos. O’Toole is up over in the corner. Just as he gets to his feet, Doucho comes at him and nails a splash. O’Toole stumbles out of the corner and Doucho lifts him up. Just as Paddy makes it up, he tosses O’Toole at him and the two collide. The referees have gotten the door open again, shooing Sparrow away from it for the time being. Eckford sees this and kicks Lucas Peek in the gut several times before he doubles him over and lifts him in a power bomb position. He goes to chuck Lucas out, but Lucas manages to slide down his back at the last moment and instead goes to try and dump Eckford over.
AS: The action is picking back up and I’m not sure I can keep up with it all. How about you, Dog?
BD: If Lucas gets Eggboy over and out, I’ll be pissed.
Lucas tries desperately to get the big man Eckford out, but after a few skull shots from Ben, Lucas staggers into the ring and gets lifted up, then planted by Valens who nails The Day the Music Died. The crowd boos this. Valens is trying to get up when Chaos springs at him and nails a buzz saw kick. Sparrow applauds this from the ringside area. Chaos gets up and looks down at the motionless Valens for a moment. He looks up and just as he does, Connors springs into action and nails a Boston Brew super kick on him! The fans pop for this, but as Connors straightens himself out, O’Toole runs out of nowhere and flips over with his Euro Pop piledriver that seems like it’s knocked Paddy into next week! O’Toole gets up, but as soon as he does, Justice grabs him, lifts him up and nails Unyielding Resolve to take him out. Justice gets up, but Eckford is away from the ropes, grabs him and nails his Xtreme Xecution to fold Justice in half. Eckford gets up, but Doucho grabs him and flips him over quickly before he drops him down with a Tea Bag! The crowd is going crazy at this point and chanting “this is awesome”. Doucho grabs Eckford and tries to whip him into the ropes by the door, but Eckford falls to his knees and resists. Doucho lets go of him and instead focuses on the downed O’Toole. He grabs him and goes to toss him through the door by the back of his head, but Christopher rolls through onto the apron, then back into the ring. Doucho is seemingly pissed at this when he gets some shots and kicks from behind. He turns around and James Chaos looks like a deer in the head lights of an oncoming car.
AS: Remember just a few Meltdowns ago when Chaos was supposed to be Doucho’s tag partner against Marcus Corvo and Paddy? I think it’d be a safe assumption that Doucho hasn’t forgotten….
BD: Man, I don’t even remember what happened yesterday.
Doucho nails a knee to Chaos’s gut, then grabs him by the back of the head and goes to chuck him over the ropes and through the door. Chaos lands on the apron much like O’Toole did, but he gets up instead of rolling into the ring. As soon as he reaches his feet, Doucho charges and nails a big boot that sends Chaos right out of the door and onto Sparrow, who’s doing his best to fight the referees and close the door to the cage to keep James in the match. The crowd pops at both of them laid out on the ringside floor. Doucho turns around and gets some European uppercuts from Valens.
AS: James Chaos is gone, Dog! And the numbers are gradually decreasing.
BD: Did you expect the numbers to get bigger, Strong?
O’Toole and Lucas Peek are going at it in a corner now with Lucas nailing some kicks to him. Justice is now nailing some kicks to Eckford. He grabs Ben by the arm and whips him into the ropes. He goes for a jumping heel kick on him, but Ben catches him and plants him with a power bomb. The crowd “ohhhhhhhs” this. Eckford gets up and from behind, Connors nails some shots to him. He grabs Ben by the head and goes for a bulldog, but Eckford shoves him into the cage wall. Connors staggers out into the middle of the ring and Eckford catches him with a side slam. Just as he gets done that, Lucas whips O’Toole across the ring. Eckford sees him coming and throws him in the air, causing him to fall down right on top of Connors. Eckford looks down at this, then eyes Peek and charges him in the corner. Lucas moves and Eckford stumbles out of the corner, only to get a Peek Drop from Lucas! Lucas gets to his feet to cheers and eyes Valens and Doucho fighting near the door. He seems to be sizing them up for a few moments before he charges looking for a double clothesline on them. Doucho gets the hell out of dodge, but Valens manages to catch Lucas and back body drop him over the ropes, through the cage door and to the ringside floor with a splat.
AS: God damn, Lucas just got the shit knocked out of him by Valens. Not to mention eliminated.
BD: The idiot eliminated himself from what I saw. Why run toward the door like that?
Lucas sits up holding his lower back and shakes his head with a grimace as he gets to his feet. The fans clap for him in the ringside area though. Meanwhile, in the ring, O’Toole has gotten up and as Valens turns to face everyone in the ring, his eyes meet O’Toole’s. The fans cheer a bit as the two move in, nose to nose, exchange some words and then begin firing shot after shot on one another. Valens knees O’Toole in the gut and then smirks as he grabs his arm and fires him into the ropes. He telegraphs a back body drop and O’Toole grabs the ropes to the stop himself. He grins for a moment before he charges Valens and then nails a Euro Pop that lays Valens out. O’Toole gets up, but suddenly gets caught with a springboard dropkick from Justice, who was on the apron.
AS: Everyone in this match is just laying it all on the line. The match has gone on for what? Nearly twenty minutes now? These guys have to be gassed.
BD: Justice don’t look gassed right now, Strong.
Justice gets to his feet and catches Connors with a belly to belly overhead suplex as he staggers into him. Doucho is up in the corner and Justice charges in at him. Even though Doucho moves, Justice climbs up onto the middle rope, then onto the top rope. Doucho turns around and Justice grabs the cage, adjusting himself so that he’s at an angle before he flies off the top rope and catches Doucho with a flying clothesline. He gets up, but Eckford charges and goes for a big boot on him. Justice ducks, then shoves Eckford forward into the corner by the cage door. He then charges in and nails a flying leg lariat on him. Eckford slumps in the corner and Justice gets down and tries to dump him over the ropes. Connors comes over and tries to help out. They get Eckford up over the ropes, but he grabs Connors by the head and gets him teetering on the ropes as well. O’Toole comes from out of nowhere and grabs Connors by the legs and dumps him to the outside to boos. Valens comes behind him and sneakily low blows him before he dumps him over to the outside as well.
AS: A double elimination, back to back! Paddy Connors is gone and so isn’t Christopher O’Toole!
BD: We’re down to our final four now. Justice, Eggboy, Douchewad and Elvis.
AS: Indeed, one of these four will be going to Red, White and Bruised to challenge for the Southwestern title.
Eckford shoves Justice back and with that, it seems to dawn on everyone that they’re the last four left. Each person seems to eye the others for a moment with the crowd clapping and trying to will them on now. Suddenly, Eckford and Doucho lunge at Justice as Valens hangs back and rests against a corner. Eckford and Doucho get Justice against a corner and take turns nailing kicks to his midsection before Eckford tells Doucho to back off a bit, then nails some elbow strikes to Justice’s jaw. This rocks him, but it’s nothing compared to what happens when Doucho gets Eckford to back up and then raises his foot up and starts to choke Justice. The crowd starts a loud “let’s go Justice” chant as Doucho lowers his foot, then pulls him out of the corner. He lifts him up and brings him down with a side slam across his knee as Eckford bounces off of the ropes and then drops and elbow across Justice’s chest as Doucho lets go of him.
AS: Some double teaming on Justice here and I’d say he’s in a bad way.
BD: I love what Elvis is doing, just hanging out in the corner. It’s a smart move.
Eckford and Doucho admire their handiwork for a moment before Doucho picks up Justice and then gives him to Eckford. He tells him to hold onto him as he backs up a few steps and goes for a big boot on him, but Justice moves aside. He leaps up and kicks Eckford in the jaw to cheers, sending Ben stumbling back against the ropes. Doucho charges at him, but Justice drop toe holds him, then grabs his foot and applies a grapevine ankle lock to the big man. Doucho screams as Justice torques on his ankle. This don’t last long, though as Eckford kicks Justice square in the jaw. He grabs him by the hair and then chucks him into the ropes by the cage door. Justice goes over the top rope, but manages to hang on and skin the cat over and back into the ring. The crowd cheers for this, though Eckford seems pissed off upon seeing that Justice didn’t go out and charges at him. Justice ducks a clothesline and as Eckford hits the ropes, Justice dropkicks him to the back and knocks the big man over the ropes and to the ringside floor.
AS: ECKFORD IS GONE! WE’RE DOWN TO THREE PEOPLE!
BD: Poor Eggboy, I had him as a favorite in this match too.
Justice turns around, but gets a boot to the gut by Valens for his troubles. Valens nails some chops to his chest, then whips him across the ring, lifts him up and plants him with The Day the Music Died! Justice bounces off the mat and Valens gets up with a smirk. That don’t last long, though as Doucho grabs him, powers him up and nails a running gut wrench power bomb into the cage wall on him. Marty falls to the apron between the ropes and cage, screaming in pain, but Doucho kicks him a few times, then pulls him up and rakes his face across the cage wall. When he drops Marty down, his forehead is bleeding pretty bad. He picks Marty up and whips him into a corner. He charges in and nails a running splash on him. Just as he backs up, Justice turns him around and even though he seems dazed, nails some shots to him. Doucho knees him in the whips him across the ring into another corner. He charges in and splashes him before he grabs him by the head and lifts him up to sit him on the top rope. Just as Doucho seems to about to go for maybe a superplex or something, Valens comes across the ring and nails some shots to his back. He turns Doucho around and nails some chops to his chest. He grabs Doucho by the head and pulls him over to the cage door, where he tries to hoist him over the ropes. Doucho nails some punches to his skull and then rakes him in the eye to send him back. Unable to see, Valens staggers around for a second before Doucho grabs him by the hair and his jumpsuit and like a spear, shoots him through the top and middle ropes to chuck him out of the cage!
AS: Valens is gone! We’re down to our final two!
BD: Here we go, the douche wad against Justice.
Doucho eyes Justice on the top rope with a smirk and strolls over to him. He nails some shots to make sure that he’s still out of it, then he climbs to the middle rope. He hoists Justice up and then climbs to the top rope with the fans cheering their lungs out. Doucho hoists Justice up and goes to dump him over the top of the cage, but Justice responds by grabbing the very top of the cage and kicking Justice repeatedly in the chest. This causes the big man to lean against the corner of the cage for a moment. Justice gets down and after some knees to the big man, gets him up and pulls him to the top of the cage. He goes to chuck him over, but Doucho rests on the top of the cage and hangs on for dear life, even when Justice begins nailing some shots to his lower back and kidney area. Finally seeing no other alternative, Justice climbs onto the cage in front of Douch and lifts him into a sitting position. Now with both man having one leg in the cage and one out, Justice chops Doucho across the chest, though Doucho responds with a chop of his own.
AS: They’re at the very top of the cage! This isn’t going to end up well…..
BD: YOU THINK?!
They trade chops with each other again, but Doucho reaches over and rakes Justice’s eyes. He seems to grab him by the head and maybe set up for some kind of suplex, but Justice nails some rapid shots to his side and gets out of it. Justice teeters, though and falls back against the top of the cage. He uses this, though, to raise his right leg up and kick Doucho several times. He then grabs onto the cage and lifts his other leg up. He wraps them around Doucho’s head and goes for a hurricanrana on the big man that would send him tumbling off the cage. Doucho manages to stop Justice’s momentum, though. Justice grabs a hold of the cage to hang on for dear life but Doucho grabs his legs and pries them off of his neck. In a split second, he flips Justice over and sends him tumbling to the ringside floor in a huge fall as the crowd pops at this and starts a “holy shit” chant.
AS: THE ERA OF THE DOUCHE IS UPON US, DOG! DOUCHO DID IT! HE OUTLASTED NINE OTHER MEN IN THIS HELLACIOUS MATCH TO EARN A SHOT AT HIS FIRST GOLD HERE IN ROP!
BD: Calm down, man. Doucho managed to win here, but can he beat whoever’s the Southwestern Heavyweight Champion in July? That’s the question.
TL: Here is your winner and the man who will get a Southwestern Heavyweight title match at Red, White and Bruised, EL DOUCHO BAGGO!
And with that, we go to a merchandise commercial as Doucho sits on top of the cage with his hands raised as his music plays.
We go to something that happened earlier today! Where are we going, you ask? Simple! A old folks retirement home.....we see Bryan Deas there for some reason! So, lets see what he is doing there!
Bryan: Good evening, Ring of Pride! This is the old folks home where old people go to spend the rest of their days and this is the site for the future home of one Mr. Adam Linn!
Bryan pauses for a minute before speaking.
Bryan: That’s right, Linn! Once I beat your ass so bad, you will have no choice but to spend the rest of your days here! But, don’t worry....I got you all setup!
Bryan points to a door which has Linn’s name on it.
Bryan: See....you even got your own room! How cool is that? I just wish I could be like you, one day! Oh....
Bryan stops to smirk before speaking.
Bryan: I can’t be like you, cause I will still be kicking ass and taking names while you will be here just being the lazy fuck that you are! Face it Linn....this is YOUR destiny! Being a lazy bastard!!! But, don’t worry.....
Bryan then points to 3 old ladies in wheelchairs!
Bryan: You have chicks to keep you company! Face it Linn....your day is here....when I retire your ass! So...until then, see you in hell, son!
With that said, we fade back to ringside.
TL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Dog Collar match and is set for one fall. Introducing first………….
“Why I Sing the Blues” begins to play and from the back walks Bryan Deas. He raises a hand up to cheers from the fans before he walks down the entrance aisle, slapping some hands on the way before he slides into the ring. He gets to his feet and then gets onto the middle rope, raising his hand in the air to cheers.
TL: From Hollywood, California…….”Ballistic” Bryan Deas!
AS: Great. The resident punching bag of RoP is out here. How long do you think this one will last, Dog? Five minutes?
BD: I dunno, man. As long as I’ve got some shots here, I don’t care how long his one goes.
"Legendary status" hits as we hear the rev of a finely tuned 427 chevy Chevelle SS.
Linn hits the ramp in his Chevelle and comes to a stop flooring the gas and redlines the engine. He Lets off the gas and wearing his old school throwback Dylan Shirt and his chains including his "Iconic Thug" medallion, He steps out and the crowd goes insane. He begins to bump his arms to the music as his children hit the stage dancing with their father. Brandi walks out wearing a "Linn Forever" Shirt. Linn blows them all a kiss and then turns to the ring. He points at deas and then leans into the car and pulls out his Juggalo Championship Belt. He tosses it over his shoulder and grabs the mic.
Linn: You said i always lose with a belt on the line... Well bitch, I'm puttin it up... Time to prove who can tempt fate... you scared ass bitch... Put up your Ballistic title and lets make it real...
The crowd goes crazy as well as linn throws the mic into the car and then bails down the ramp sliding in and jumping to his feet holding up the juggalo championship much to the delight of the crowd. He removes his necklaces and hands them to his kids and then pulls off his shirt and tosses it to the crowd. Showing he is ready for blood.
AS: Here’s Linn and he looks ready to rumble.
BD: Thank you, Michael Buffer.
The bell rings just as Mike Donovan gets the chain connecting both men secured onto Deas’ collar. Immediately, both men begin circling one another. As if the idea hits him suddenly, Deas stops dead in his tracks and then grabs the chain, tugging on it to try and pull Linn toward him. Linn tugs on the chain almost immediately himself. The tug of war between the two seems to go on for several long moments before Deas suddenly lets loose and charges at Linn. He goes for a clothesline, but Linn ducks and gets behind Deas to wrap the chain around his neck and begin choking him. Linn cranks back on it and after about a minute, Deas’ face starts to turn purple. He falls down to a knee, then to both knees. Linn tightens his grip on the chain, preventing Deas from getting any air as he starts to fade.
AS: You know, right now Deas kind of reminds me of that girl from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that turns into a blueberry.
BD: Linn’s bringing it, man. He has to though, this is last time out here. He’s leaving after this one.
Deas seems out of it now with his face being a deep shade of purple as Linn eases up on the chain. He pulls it away from Deas’ neck and wraps it around his fist as best as he can before he starts to rain down punches into the kneeling Deas’ skull. After a barrage of about nine or so shots, Deas falls forward. Linn grabs him by the hair and pulls him into a corner before throwing Deas face first into the turnbuckle pad. He sends him face first into it again, then again. Deas falls to the mat. Linn goes to pick him up, but Deas wraps the chain around Linn’s foot and trips him. Deas gets to his knees, then up to his feet slowly. Linn’s on his hands and knees and with a sick smirk on his face, Deas grabs the chain and begins to whip Linn across the back with it. Linn screams and quickly rushes into the ropes, but grabbing them makes no difference to Bryan, as he continues to lash Linn repeatedly with the chain. Linn tries to get to his feet, but Deas wraps the chain around his head and pulls him up to his feet.
AS: Deas is now in control. Lucky us. This is the portion of the match where I get lulled to sleep by his boredom, folks.
BD: It’d not as bad if you have a few shots before the match like I did, man.
Deas turns so that he’s back to back with Linn, then pulls on the chain and basically hangs Linn. Deas staggers for a moment before he takes some giant steps backward and then falls into the corner, smashing Linn between him and the pads. Linn screams, but Deas stumbles out of the corner with Linn still hanging behind him. He then gets a good grip on the chain and flips Linn over his shoulders and face first onto the mat! Linn’s momentum causes him to go into a kneeling position though he’s obviously dazed and out of it. Deas takes the chance to back up, then runs at him and nails a knee shot to his skull. Linn falls backward and Deas smirks as he looks down at him for a second. He pulls Linn up and goes to whip him into a corner. Linn gets his foot up and prevents himself from colliding with it in time. Deas can be heard grunting “you son of a bitch” before he charges at Linn. Linn drops to the canvas and pulls the top rope down to send Deas to the ringside floor.
AS: Deas just well………he fucked himself over there.
BD: I wonder what they can do on the floor though, man. They have that chain on their necks……..
Deas starts to get up and Linn pulls the chain into the ring before he finally gets it tight enough to pull Deas up . He tugs as hard as he can and gets Deas off of his feet and hanging him a bit, starts to tighten his grip on the chain and work his way over to Deas. Finally, he grabs some of the chain and with Deas still hanging, begins to lash him in the chest with it over and over. The chain digs deep into Deas’ chest and eventually causes blood to drip from the cuts it’s making. Finally, Linn wraps the chain around his fist and nails some shots to Bryan’s skull that knock him into la-la land it seems. Linn smirks and pulls Deas into the ring. He keeps little chain between them and turns his back to Bryan before he pulls forward on him and backpacks him over to a corner. He stands in front of it for a few seconds, then turns and rushes into it, ramming Deas into the corner. He steps out, then does it again before he drops the chain and leaves Deas leaning against the corner and breathing heavily. Bryan turns just as Linn goes as far as he can across the ring. He takes a running start and goes for a splash on Deas, but Bryan moves. Linn crashes into the corner, turns around and gets lashes from the chain for his troubles.
AS: My god, this match is certainly turning out to be brutal, folks. You may think that chain don’t hurt but it’s hard as hell. It’s an industrial strength chain and each link has some weight behind it. Lashing someone like this will not only break their skin, but it will also cause the weight of the links to slam into you. It’s a double whammy.
BD: Oh yeah and Adam looks like he could tell you about that right now.
Deas continues to lash Linn for what seems like close to a minute before he finally stops. We see that a cut above Linn’s right eye has formed and caused him to bleed. With a snicker, Deas grabs Linn and sets him up on the top turnbuckle and facing the fans. He then hooks Linn’s feet on the ropes and flips him down into a tree of woe. He stomps his face a few times, then gets down and slides out of the ring. Deas gets behind the post and pulls Linn’s head toward him. He takes the chain and begins to wrap it around Linn’s neck and the post. Finally, he places his foot against the post and pulls back on the chain, choking Linn. Linn’s face gives a look of anguish and quickly turns pink, then red, then purple as blood and air is cut off to him. Deas viciously pulls the chain back as hard as he can. Finally, as drool starts to come from Linn’s mouth, he lets up and slides back into the ring as the fans chant “this is awesome”. He grabs Linn by the head and pulls him up. With the chain still around his neck a few times, Deas tightens it around his neck, then sets his head up on his shoulder before he brings him down with a neck breaker. Linn’s motionless as Deas covers him. One…………Two………….NO!
AS: There’s the first cover of the match and I’ll be damned, Linn still has some fight left in him.
BD: I thought Deas would have squeezed all of it out like an orange the way he was choking him.
Deas knees and glares at the referee before he gets up to his feet and stomps down on Linn several times. He then pulls on the chain and gets Linn in a sitting position. He pulls on the chain until Linn gets to his feet in a dazed and confused state. Deas grabs the clip connecting the chain to Linn’s collar and lifts him up for a few moments, choking him. Deas then drops him down onto his feet for a moment, then falls backward and flips Linn over by his collar. Linn falls into the mat hard and lays motionless for several seconds before he tries to crawl into a corner. He sits up in it and Deas charges at him, looking for a running boot. Linn moves at the last second, rolling out of the ring. Deas’ foot connects with the ring post. He holds it and howls in pain as Linn gets to his feet outside of the ring and tugs on the chain, causing Deas to fall against the ropes and hang onto them for dear life. Linn gets up and climbs onto the apron. He nails some shots to Bryan’s skull, then nails a hot shot that brings him throat first across the top rope. Deas tumbles back into the ring and Linn rolls in, like a predator smelling blood. He waits for Deas to slowly get up before he leaps up and nails a FUCK YOU! Deas lays face first and motionless for several long moments before Linn rolls him over and hooks a leg. One……………Two……………….NO! Deas gets a shoulder up!
AS: Bryan Deas kicking out of a Fuck You and I think Linn’s having a tough time fathoming that.
BD: I’m having a tough time understanding you and your big words.
Linn gets to his feet and pulls Deas up. He grabs him, attempting to go for a Whiskey Sour, but Bryan falls behind him. He grabs Linn to go for a German suplex, but Adam rushes into the ropes and uses his momentum to thrust back on Deas and get him off of him. Deas staggers back as Linn seems to catch his breath for a moment. Suddenly, Bryan yanks on the chain and pulls Linn toward him. Linn stumbles right into a Ballistically Insane choke slam! Deas gets down on him and hooks a leg. One………..Two…………NO! Linn kicks out! The fans clap their approval and Deas gets on his knees, taking deep breaths and shaking his head.
AS: Talk about throwing everything you’ve got at each other, they’ve gone back and forth with some of their well known moves on each other.
BD: Maybe it’s toughness, maybe it’s stupidity. But both seem to have it.
Deas gets to his feet and kicks Linn a few times. He then eyes the corner turnbuckle and climbs it. He gets to the top rope and then looks down at a motionless Linn before he dives off with a Ball Buster head butt, but Linn rolls out of the way and Deas collides with the mat only. He holds onto his chest as he sits up and starts to get to his feet. Linn grabs the chain and yanks on it, causing Deas to stumble into him. He wraps the chain around his neck a few times, then lifts him up onto his shoulders and nails a 402 Drop! He hangs on for the cover! One………………..Two…………….Three!
AS: It’s over! It’s over! Linn picked up the win and what a way to get sent off, huh?
BD: I guess, both men look pretty screwed up though.
TL: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner…………ADAM LINN!
The fans clap as both men lay in the ring for several moments. A loud “Thank You, Adam” chant starts up as Linn sits up. The referee helps take the collar off of his neck and then goes to do the same to Deas as Linn gets to his feet and looks around at the fans, who are on their feet, applauding him for his effort in the match. He raises a hand and then bows to them as their chant gets even louder. Deas is now on his hands and knees. He kneels for a moment and looks over at Adam for a few moments before he nods. DJ Clay has come down to the ring as well and joins Linn in the ring, clapping for a few seconds before the two shake hands, then hug. As their hug ends, Deas is up and approaches them. He extends his hand out to Adam, who takes it and shakes with w a smirk and then raises Deas’ hand up in the air. Suddenly, he yanks on his arm and pulls Bryan into a belly to belly suplex. As he gets up, Clay gets down on the mat and slaps on a Welcome to New Jersey that causes Deas to scream in agony.
AS: Looks like Linn and Clay are having some fun with Deas.
BD: But the bottom line is that this was it for Adam. His last match. His swan song.
AS: Yeah and in my opinion, these two just stole the show with what they just did.
