Post by Simon on Feb 23, 2011 13:29:58 GMT -5
Red is a segment
Orange is a match
RoP presents Meltdown
02/21/2011
La Fragua Bar
Ciudad Juarez, Mexico
Attendance: 500
The scene opens up in a dark room where a man in a hooded sweatshirt is sitting in a chair. He looks up and we see Terry Marvin sitting there smiling
Terry: I told you people that a new era was coming...and you didn't believe me. I told you that I'd accomplish my destiny...and you didn't believe me. I told you that I'd be the new Southwestern champion....AND YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.
Terry pulls out the title belt and holds it up.
Terry: Well, do you believe me now? Two weeks ago I turned Shadows title reign into the biggest joke in the world. I showed everyone what he was made of...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Terry laughs maniacally.
Terry: Tonight begins the REIGN of nightmares. Tonight begins a string of Terror that will flow through this company like the thing that goes BUMP in the night. NOBODY is safe....but everybody will know that I am NOT to be taken lightly. Welcome Ring of Pride...WELCOME TO YOUR NEW NIGHTMARE!
Terry Laughs as the scene fades to black.
TL: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is your opening bout. Introducing first, already in the ring…….Mark DelRusso!
The fans give a lukewarm reaction to DelRusso.
SP: Mark is making his debut here and he seems to be a very out spoken guy.
AS: Yeah, well I haven’t really heard the guy talk so I wouldn’t know……
TL: And introducing his opponents, first………on her way to the ring “The Paladin” Cadyna!
“Innocence” begins to play and the fans actually cheer as Cadyna makes her way out from the back. She pauses in the entrance aisle, then walks down to the ring slowly and gets onto the apron.
SP: We know what Cadyna can do. She debuted two weeks ago against Paige and what a debut it was.
AS: Yeah, we know what she can do but I think she’d be a lot more tolerable on her knees if you know what I mean.
TL: And their opponent……from Chicaho, Illinois….El Doucho Baggo!
The opening notes of “We made you” chime and we hear El Doucho Baggo ask
"Guess who, did you miss me?"
The curtain parts and El Doucho steps through wearing an Aztec jaguar warrior's headdress and leopard skin cape over his usual light blue and bright red luchadore mask and jeans. The audience sits in shocked silence for a moment there are even some cheers from fans that don't recognize him and think that he's a proud local star in an unadvertised opening match. EDB saunters in doing an obscene half dance where he does a pelvic after each step in time with the music which is now back to it's unedited state.
“When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rock star (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
We're the ones who (chicka) made you”
His manager Richard Preston follows behind as does his training partner Juan Diaz who is wearing a hooded sweatshirt and is actively pulling the hood as far down over his face as it will go with one hand. Behind them come two more men a muscular man in a "got douch?" shirt and an older black man in black jeans and a short sleeve black shirt, and what appears to be a cut man’s kit on his belt and wrist. By now the last few stragglers have caught on either because someone explained who El Doucho Baggo is or because he's clearly an untanned caucasian. The jeers are near deafening and starts to litter the entrance this is very messy since the show just started so there are very few empty containers. Somehow this doesn't satisfy EDB so he starts hopping to the ring doing the wardance of a classic "redface" Indian.
SP: What is this? We’re in Mexico! Not an Native Reservation or anything like that……..
AS: I don’t know, but how long do you think it’ll take him to realize that Mexicans are worse than Indians?
One man jumps the guardrail and EDB sends him toppling right back over it with a backhand swing of his blunted Aztec swordclub this takes the fight out of several more men behind him that looked ready to follow.
The enforcer, looking for more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie Horse her
Sorry Portia, but what’s Ellen DeGeneres
Have that I don't, are you telling me tenderness?
Well I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman
Give me my ventolin inhaler and 2 Xenadrin
And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then
Nail her, 'Baby say hello to my little friend'
EDB uses the ring steps as his entourage slides under the ropes, Juan lifts the bottom rope and offers his free hand to Richard who waves it off. Richard pulls out a white flag with the logo of Combat Consulting the gym where El Doucho Baggo trained and the douche enforcer helps him spread it out as a backdrop , printed on it. MMA guys love free advertising, El Doucho Baggo Stands on one bottom rope and flexes then does the same in the opposite corner. He returns to the flag and shadow boxes in front of it for a few seconds.
SP: By the time he gets ready we’ll be on the two year anniversary of RoP……..
AS: Heh, why do I get the feeling that this is a hell of a lot better than this match is gonna be?
“And that’s why… my love
You'll never live without,
I know you want me girl cause I can see you checking me out
And baby, you know, you know you want me too
Don’t try to deny it baby, I’m the only one for you”
EDB removes and tosses his excess entrance gear aside as the enforcer grabs the announcers mic and tosses it to him.
“I am Ellllllllllllllllll Dooooooooooouchoooooo aaaaa Baaaaaaaaggooooooooo! And I am about to make this sorry pair of wrasslers my bitches!”
EDB is about to toss the mic aside then pauses and raises it back up.
"Oh, one more thing. Later tonight I'll be holding auditions for a new ring girl at Gran Hotel Ciudad room 19. Anyone is welcome to apply. . ."
The douche enforcer chimes in.
"No fat chicks!"
"Well, of course no fat chicks we may be an equal oppurtunity employer we have Bona Fide Occupational Qualifications namely all applicants must to fit the uniform."
The douche enforcer pulls what looks like a handful of string out of his pocket and unfurls it to reveal a bikini so skimpy that the top wouldn't fully cover especially large areolas.
"Again that's room 19 Gran Hotel Ciudad and Cad-INE-a you're still welcome to apply."
SP: Is it over yet?
AS: Unfortunately, now it’s time for the boring portion of this match to begin………..
The bell rings and all three just look at each other before DelRusso charges Cadyna and nails some clubbing shots to her. He whips her into the corner and nails some boots to her gut. He then presses her against the turnbuckle and rockets her across the ring into another corner. She steps onto the middle rope and flips over DelRusso just as he comes rushing in after her. He turns around and she leaps up to nail a kick to the side of his head. She gets up to claps from the crowd, but Doucho charges and clotheslines her from behind. The fans’ reaction turns to boos as Doucho reaches down and picks her up slowly. He grabs her and hen tosses her forward with a front suplex that drapes her across the top rope. She hangs there for a moment, but Doucho backs up a few steps and then nails a big boot to her skull that knocks her onto the apron.
SP: Hell of a move there from El Doucho Baggo. He seems to have knocked her out of the match for now and probably out, period.
AS: Think I should go over there and see if she’s alright?
Doucho looks down at her for a moment before he turns around gets DelRusso there, looking to chop him. He lands a few knife edged chops to Doucho’s chest that echo through the bar. The first few actually send Doucho reeling a few steps, but as Mark moves in, Doucho knees him in the gut, the grabs him and flings him into the corner with a hip toss that sends him back first into the turnbuckles. The crowd goes “ohhhhhhhh” at this but then cheer as Doucho turns and gets a missile dropkick to the chest by Cadyna, who had sprung off the top rope. This sends Doucho into the ropes staggering.
SP: Cadyna with a golden opportunity here. Sure, Doucho is bigger than her and likely stronger, but she’s a hell of a lot quicker and she needs to exploit that.
AS: Watching her…..it makes ME quick, Stu. Can you believe that?
Cadyna waits for Doucho to straighten up before she charges him. Doucho lowers his shoulder and goes for a back body drop to the floor, but Cadyna goes to grab onto the top rope. Douch grabs her by the legs and tugs at her repeatedly. Finally, he breaks her grip on the ropes and then powers her down suddenly with an Alabama slam. It shakes the ring and draws boos from the fans. Cadyna rolls off to the side of the ring. Just as Doucho straightens up, DelRusso nails some shots to his back and grabs his head, going for a bulldog. Doucho shoves him off and when Mark gets up, grabs him and flips him upside down before he drops him with a tombstone piledriver…..well, his “unique” version of it anyway.
SP: DELRUSSO JUST GOT TEABAGGED!
AS: HOLY SHIT, WHAT POWER FROM DOUCHO!
One……….Two……….Three!
TL: Here is your winner……EL DOUCHO BAGGO!
We go behind the curtain to where Simon Sensation is standing by with Ace Andrews. Both are looking down at the floor. Finally, Simon looks up at him.
Simon: Do you know what you’re doing with this Lucas crap, man? I mean, if you lose tonight we’re both screwed.
Ace nods and then looks up with a smirk.
Ace: I know, but I won’t lose. Me lose to Lucas? That’s so freaking funny you’d have to take it and send the clip in to Tosh.0. I won’t be losing to him, tonight you get your freedom back and tonight, I get mine.
This causes Simon to look at him oddly.
Simon: You gets yours?
Ace nods.
Ace: I’m sick of some coward running behind everyone’s backs and taking me down. If he or she was any kind of a man, they’d be able to get in my face, then try and take me out. What’s been happening is bull and we both know that. Nobody seems to know anything. Nobody really has any clues as to who it is. It’s almost as if they’re invisible, as if whoever’s doing it don’t exist. I’m tired of it, man.
He points down and nods his head.
Ace: Tonight after I win you your freedom from Lucas, I’m going to drag whoever has been doing this into the light and believe me when I say that they aren’t going to like me one freaking bit.
With that, he walks off and leaves Simon nodding his head as he watches him go.
TL: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first…….
“One Step Closer” begins to play as James Chaos walks out from the back to boos from the crowd. He looks around at them with a smirk, then shakes his head and slowly walks down to the ring. He hops up onto the apron and gets into the ring before getting up on the middle rope and holding his hand up to even more boos.
TL: From Toronto, Ontario, Canada……..James Chaos!
SP: Talk about international, Chaos is from two countries over at this point. Of course, he’s been making quite an impact since debuting. Tonight he plays the role of welcome wagon, though.
AS: Yeah, we better hope this welcome wagon don’t lose a wheel like he did against Corvo two weeks ago……
“The State of Massachusetts” begins to play and the crowd begins to cheer as Paddy Connors walks out from the back. He instantly slaps a few hands before walking down the aisle and to the ringside area. He eyes Chaos in the ring for a few moments, then slides in.
TL: And his opponent, from Boston, Massachusetts, Paddy Connors!
SP: Paddy is no stranger to the business despite this being his debut here. He’s been behind the scenes and a manager elsewhere for a while now.
AS: Yeah, I’ve heard people say that he reminds them of “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. Well Paddy is definitely a common man and judging from the way this idiot looks, I’d say he’s no hit with the ladies so he’s gotta be doing a lot of work with this hands too……..
SP: Oh, come on now………
The bell rings and Chaos wastes no time laying some kicks in to Paddy’s legs. He gets the Irishman reeling for a few seconds before he leaps up and nails a spinning heel kick that sends Paddy stumbling into the ropes. James holds his arms up with a smirk to boos from the fans. He takes a step toward Paddy, but the Irishman rushes out at him and nails a clothesline that gets cheers from the crowd. Chaos immediately gets up, but he walks right into a back body drop from Paddy. Chaos lands on the mat hard and holds his lower back as he gets to his feet slowly. When he turns around, Paddy grabs him by the head and plants him with a DDT that gets some cheers from the fans as he rolls him over and goes for a cover. One………! Chaos kicks out!
AS: Did he really think that he was going to get Chaos this early? I think he had a few too many brews before the match.
SP: You know, I probably wouldn’t doubt it. He is well…..Irish. And he’s from Boston.
AS: Yeah, if I was from a city with teams like the Red Sox and Bruins, I’d want to get piss drunk too.
Connors pulls Chaos to his feet and nails a few knife edged chops on him. Chaos grabs his chest and falls back, but Connors keeps after him and nails a few European uppercuts to him that rock him and send him stumbling into a nearby corner. Paddy stays on him and nails another uppercut before he grabs Chaos and lifts him up to the top rope in a seated position. He climbs up to the middle rope and grabs him, looking for a superplex, but Chaos lands some shots to his midsection and then shoves the Irishman back into the ring. Paddy lands on his feet, but Chaos stands up on the top rope and as Connors looks up, he leaps off and catches him with a cross body. He holds on as they hit the mat and goes for a pin on him. One………..Two! Connors gets a shoulder up!
SP: Close call there but Paddy managed to muscle out of that one. Still, in a split second Chaos was able to turn the match around into his favor.
AS: Well you also got to take into consideration that Paddy’s old too. I heard that when he was a kid they road dinosaurs to school.
SP: Oh, come on. Can’t you say anything good about anyone?
Chaos glares at the ref and then pulls Connors to his feet. He whips the Irishman against the ropes and catches him with a picture perfect dropkick. Connors lays on the mat holding his face as Chaos rushes into the ropes, leaps up onto the middle one and then comes back at Paddy with a moonsault. The Irishman manages to move out of the way, though, which prompts Chaos to size him up and when Paddy gets to a knee, he lunges toward him and goes for a buzz saw kick. Paddy ducks the kick and with Chaos spun around, shoves him forward. Chaos turns to face Paddy and as he does, the barman springs toward him looking for his Boston Brew super kick, but Chaos sees it at the last second and ducks. The fans can’t help but clap for this exchange at this point, but it quickly turns to some boos and jeers as Chaos grabs Paddy from behind and rolls him up with a schoolboy! One…………Two….! Paddy kicks out!
SP: The Boston Barman managed to get out of it there and Chaos seems a little irked.
AS: I’d be too if I couldn’t keep a drunk like this Paddy Connors moron down.
Chaos gets up and starts barking at the ref. He tells him to actually count and then grabs Connors by the head. He knees him a few times, then lifts him up and snap suplexes him over. Connors lays on the mat and Chaos looks at him for a moment before he gets out onto the apron. He wait’s a second, then leaps onto the top rope and springs into the ring with an attempted shooting star press. Paddy rolls out of the way, though and Chaos crashes into the mat. The crowd goes wild, trying to will the two up as they both lay on the mat. Feeling like he has no other option, the referee starts a ten count. One………Two……….Three! Paddy sits up and takes several deep breaths before he starts to get up. Four………..Five…………Six! Chaos tries to get to his knees. Seven……..Eight………Nine! Connors is up to his feet and the referee stops counting. The fans go crazy as Connors grabs Chaos by the head, lifts him to his feet and brings him up and over with a brain buster! He floats over and makes a cover! One………….Two………! Chaos gets a foot on the ropes!
SP: Chaos just barely gets his foot on the rope and the match goes on. Talk about a first impression from Connors, eh?
AS: The fuck are you, Canadian? Eh? Seriously? Yeah, Connors and Chaos may be going back and forth in the ring but they can’t both win, can they? One has to lose and it wouldn’t break my heart to see either of them fall.
Connors knees for several moments, breathing deeply before he gets up and then grabs Chaos by the head. He goes to pull him up, but James nails several shots to his gut. This sends the Irishman back. Chaos sees the distance between them and in an instant, leaps up and nails a kick to the side of Connors’ head that takes the Irishman down to one knee. Chaos sees his chance and swings his leg around again to nail a sick buzz saw kick! He gets on Connors and makes the cover! One……….Two……………NO! Connors JUST manages to get a shoulder up!
SP: Man, oh man. I thought that was the end for Paddy right there. That’s the move that took out Eric Cobretti. Chaos beat him and we haven’t seen The Cobra since, have we?
AS: Do you see me crying about that? I’m hoping he can put away this old coot too.
Chaos sits up and looks at the ref in disbelief. He yells at him, screaming at the top of his lungs and causing the ref to back into a corner as he gets up. As Chaos is screaming at the ref, Connors gets to his hands and knees and gets behind him. He reaches up and brings him back with a roll up. The ref gets down and counts. One………..Two………….NO! Chaos kicks out! The fans start a “let’s go Paddy” chant as the Irishman gets to his feet and waits for Chaos to get up. When Chaos gets up and turns around, Paddy springs at him and nails his Boston Brew! Chaos falls to the mat on his back. Connors falls to his knees for a moment, then crawls over onto him to make the cover. One…………..Two……………NO! Chaos gets a hand on the bottom rope! Now it’s Paddy’s turn to be annoyed as he gets to his feet.
SP: My god, these two are stealing the bloody show here!
AS: They can have it for all I’m concerned if it means me sitting here next to you the whole night…….
Paddy gets up and waits for Chaos to make it to his feet in a dazed state before he goes for another super kick! Chaos ducks this one, though and gets behind Connors to nail a huge belly to back suplex on him! Connors is slow to get up, but once he gets to his hands and knees, Chaos grabs him by the head and then pulls him down backward and into a neck breaker. Connors holds onto his head as he lays on the mat. Chaos gets up, holding his head and looks down at Connors for a second before he rushes into the corner, jumps onto the middle and then top rope, then flies off with a moonsault! Connors manages to roll out of the way, though! Chaos lands on his feet! He turns around, but Connors springs into action and nails a second Boston Brew on him that lays him out! With Chaos collapsed, Connors gets down and hooks both of his legs! One………….Two………..Three!
TL: Here is your winner……PADDY CONNORS!
SP: He did it! Connors picks up a huge debut win here tonight but Chaos certainly showed us what he’s made of as well.
AS: Yeah, but he lost. That’s the bottom line! Wait a minute……..
Just as Connors is getting his hand raised, Chaos has used the ropes to pull himself up. He spots Connors and charges at him, knocking him down from behind. As Connors falls forward, he lands on his hands and knees and this allows Chaos to nail a sick buzz saw kick to his skull that lays the Boston Barman out. The fans boo as Chaos stands over Connors, looking down at him for a moment before he walks over to the ropes and gets out of the ring with the fans booing him as he goes.
We just fade to backstage as we see "Ballistic" Bryan Deas just getting ready to speak.
Bryan: Well, this is very interesting! It won't be long until Primer Anniversario!
Bryan pauses for a minute before speaking.
Bryan: That is the date that I face off for the very last time against Adam Linn in a Dog Collar Match! Now, Adam...
Bryan stops for a minute before speaking.
Bryan: We have had our battles in numerous federations....too many to count, but this will be your last match and I am honored that it is against me! So, if this is the last ever match for Adam Linn, I say that lets make it memorable, dude! Lets show the fans that me and you can whup the tar out of each other and still have enough to just shake hands!
Bryan stops again before speaking.
Bryan: Adam, normally, I would say that I am going to kick your ass, but in all honesty bro, I want you to give your best efforts and I will do the same! Just be sure of this, I will give you my best! So, get ready to go to war, son! And when we go to war, there is no coming BACK! May the best man win, and after this event is over, we will say goodbye to one of the greatest performers in this game! See you at Primer Anniversario, Linn!!!!
With that said, we fade back to ringside.
TL - "The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! The first man to gain a pin or submission, will get the victory."
'Motherfucker of the Year' by Motley Crue kicks in and out steps Adam Linn to a huge crowd pop. He removes his over shirt and tosses it to the crowd, Removes his glasses and does the same. He charges the ring and slides in ready for a fight.
TL - "Introducing first, hailing from Omaha, Nebraska. He stands in at 6 foot 4 inches tall, and weighs 335 pounds! He is ADAM LINN!!"
“Coming Undone” by Korn starts to play and the fans give a mixed reaction as Cannibal comes out of the back and slowly makes his way to the ring before he crawls into it under the bottom rope.
TL - "And his opponent, hailing from Blair, Nebraska. He stands in at 5 foot 9 inches tall, and weighs 317 pounds. He is CANNIBAL!"
Both men waste little time going face-to-face, the closeness between the men disappearing the moment they get between the ropes. Neither man backs off from the face-to-face, mouthing who knows what nasty things to each other. Though Linn has the height and weight advantage, its Cannibal who swings first, slamming his first square into Linn's jaw! That sets the brawl off, both men standing centre of the ring and exchanging hard shots, until Linn manages to block one of Cannibals, and counters with a headbutt! Linn now presses his advantage, backing Cannibal up with a few more right hands, and then takes two steps back to do a big one, but as he steps forward, Cannibal catches his arm, yanks him in, and drills him in the jaw with a clothesline!
AS - "And Cannibal just caught Linn off guard there!"
SP - "Linn was busy setting up for his own move, and Cannibal took the advantage."
Cannibal now pulls Linn to his feet, and goes to lift him for the Gorilla Press, but Linn squirms off and down behind Cannibal, and then hooks him up for a German Suplex! Cannibal goes for the ride, but once Linn pulls them to their feet, Cannibal manages to squirm out behind Linn, and drill him with a German Suplex of his own! Cannibal now drags Linn up, but before he can drill Linn with ANOTHER German Suplex, Linn squirms free, ducks behind Cannibal, and goes for ANOTHER German Suplex. Cannibal struggles with it, stretching out and grasping the top rope, and not allowing Linn to lift him. Linn stops pulling long enough to slam his forearm into Cannibals back, but the break is all Cannibal needs, and he swings his foot back, catching Linn square between the legs!
SP - "Oh come on!"
AS - "Cannibal is just doing what he needs to to win."
Cannibal now takes advantage, turning around and lifting Linn high over head in the Gorilla Press. Cannibal presses Linn a few times before tossing him forward and letting him hit the mat, chest first. Cannibal now drops down for the cover, but Linn kicks out at 2. That doesn't sem to bother Cannibal, who sticks his forearm into Linn's neck, and then starts chewing on his forehead! The referee tries to DQ Cannibal, but Cannibal simply looks up at him with bloodied teeth, and the ref backs off! Cannibal now gets to his feet, and yanks Linn up. He calls for the powerbomb, but before he can lift Linn up, Linn drops to one knee and uppercuts him square between the legs!
SP - "And Linn getting a little pay-back!"
AS - "Whats good for the goose is good for the Gander. Cannibal took advantage earlier with a ball shot, and now Linn has it back!"
Linn takes a few moments to get his breath, and then as Cannibal gets back to his feet and turns to face Linn, Linn leaps up looking for a FUCK YOU! However as he hooks Cannibals head, Cannibal shoves him off into the ropes, and when Linn bounces back, Cannibal hooks him by the back of the neck, lifts him high, and then DRILLS Adam Linn with the Tenderizer! Cannibal weastes little time rolling Linn over and then covers him.
ONE...
TWO...
THRE-NO!
SP - "HOLY SHIT! LINN KICKED OUT OF THE TENDERIZER!"
AS - "Linn is close to retiring, but he STILL has that fighters heart. Its going to take more then that to take him out Stu."
And as Strong wishes...Cannibal wastes little time arguing with the ref, instead dragging Linn to his feet, lifting him up high, and then DRILLS him to the mat again, this time with the Stay For Dinner! Cannibal covers Linn again, this time making sure to hook both legs as the referee drops down to count.
ONE...
TWO...
THREE!!
DING DING DING
TL - "Your winner of this match, via pinfall, CANNIBAL!"
Orange is a match
RoP presents Meltdown
02/21/2011
La Fragua Bar
Ciudad Juarez, Mexico
Attendance: 500
The scene opens up in a dark room where a man in a hooded sweatshirt is sitting in a chair. He looks up and we see Terry Marvin sitting there smiling
Terry: I told you people that a new era was coming...and you didn't believe me. I told you that I'd accomplish my destiny...and you didn't believe me. I told you that I'd be the new Southwestern champion....AND YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.
Terry pulls out the title belt and holds it up.
Terry: Well, do you believe me now? Two weeks ago I turned Shadows title reign into the biggest joke in the world. I showed everyone what he was made of...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Terry laughs maniacally.
Terry: Tonight begins the REIGN of nightmares. Tonight begins a string of Terror that will flow through this company like the thing that goes BUMP in the night. NOBODY is safe....but everybody will know that I am NOT to be taken lightly. Welcome Ring of Pride...WELCOME TO YOUR NEW NIGHTMARE!
Terry Laughs as the scene fades to black.
TL: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is your opening bout. Introducing first, already in the ring…….Mark DelRusso!
The fans give a lukewarm reaction to DelRusso.
SP: Mark is making his debut here and he seems to be a very out spoken guy.
AS: Yeah, well I haven’t really heard the guy talk so I wouldn’t know……
TL: And introducing his opponents, first………on her way to the ring “The Paladin” Cadyna!
“Innocence” begins to play and the fans actually cheer as Cadyna makes her way out from the back. She pauses in the entrance aisle, then walks down to the ring slowly and gets onto the apron.
SP: We know what Cadyna can do. She debuted two weeks ago against Paige and what a debut it was.
AS: Yeah, we know what she can do but I think she’d be a lot more tolerable on her knees if you know what I mean.
TL: And their opponent……from Chicaho, Illinois….El Doucho Baggo!
The opening notes of “We made you” chime and we hear El Doucho Baggo ask
"Guess who, did you miss me?"
The curtain parts and El Doucho steps through wearing an Aztec jaguar warrior's headdress and leopard skin cape over his usual light blue and bright red luchadore mask and jeans. The audience sits in shocked silence for a moment there are even some cheers from fans that don't recognize him and think that he's a proud local star in an unadvertised opening match. EDB saunters in doing an obscene half dance where he does a pelvic after each step in time with the music which is now back to it's unedited state.
“When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rock star (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
We're the ones who (chicka) made you”
His manager Richard Preston follows behind as does his training partner Juan Diaz who is wearing a hooded sweatshirt and is actively pulling the hood as far down over his face as it will go with one hand. Behind them come two more men a muscular man in a "got douch?" shirt and an older black man in black jeans and a short sleeve black shirt, and what appears to be a cut man’s kit on his belt and wrist. By now the last few stragglers have caught on either because someone explained who El Doucho Baggo is or because he's clearly an untanned caucasian. The jeers are near deafening and starts to litter the entrance this is very messy since the show just started so there are very few empty containers. Somehow this doesn't satisfy EDB so he starts hopping to the ring doing the wardance of a classic "redface" Indian.
SP: What is this? We’re in Mexico! Not an Native Reservation or anything like that……..
AS: I don’t know, but how long do you think it’ll take him to realize that Mexicans are worse than Indians?
One man jumps the guardrail and EDB sends him toppling right back over it with a backhand swing of his blunted Aztec swordclub this takes the fight out of several more men behind him that looked ready to follow.
The enforcer, looking for more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie Horse her
Sorry Portia, but what’s Ellen DeGeneres
Have that I don't, are you telling me tenderness?
Well I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman
Give me my ventolin inhaler and 2 Xenadrin
And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then
Nail her, 'Baby say hello to my little friend'
EDB uses the ring steps as his entourage slides under the ropes, Juan lifts the bottom rope and offers his free hand to Richard who waves it off. Richard pulls out a white flag with the logo of Combat Consulting the gym where El Doucho Baggo trained and the douche enforcer helps him spread it out as a backdrop , printed on it. MMA guys love free advertising, El Doucho Baggo Stands on one bottom rope and flexes then does the same in the opposite corner. He returns to the flag and shadow boxes in front of it for a few seconds.
SP: By the time he gets ready we’ll be on the two year anniversary of RoP……..
AS: Heh, why do I get the feeling that this is a hell of a lot better than this match is gonna be?
“And that’s why… my love
You'll never live without,
I know you want me girl cause I can see you checking me out
And baby, you know, you know you want me too
Don’t try to deny it baby, I’m the only one for you”
EDB removes and tosses his excess entrance gear aside as the enforcer grabs the announcers mic and tosses it to him.
“I am Ellllllllllllllllll Dooooooooooouchoooooo aaaaa Baaaaaaaaggooooooooo! And I am about to make this sorry pair of wrasslers my bitches!”
EDB is about to toss the mic aside then pauses and raises it back up.
"Oh, one more thing. Later tonight I'll be holding auditions for a new ring girl at Gran Hotel Ciudad room 19. Anyone is welcome to apply. . ."
The douche enforcer chimes in.
"No fat chicks!"
"Well, of course no fat chicks we may be an equal oppurtunity employer we have Bona Fide Occupational Qualifications namely all applicants must to fit the uniform."
The douche enforcer pulls what looks like a handful of string out of his pocket and unfurls it to reveal a bikini so skimpy that the top wouldn't fully cover especially large areolas.
"Again that's room 19 Gran Hotel Ciudad and Cad-INE-a you're still welcome to apply."
SP: Is it over yet?
AS: Unfortunately, now it’s time for the boring portion of this match to begin………..
The bell rings and all three just look at each other before DelRusso charges Cadyna and nails some clubbing shots to her. He whips her into the corner and nails some boots to her gut. He then presses her against the turnbuckle and rockets her across the ring into another corner. She steps onto the middle rope and flips over DelRusso just as he comes rushing in after her. He turns around and she leaps up to nail a kick to the side of his head. She gets up to claps from the crowd, but Doucho charges and clotheslines her from behind. The fans’ reaction turns to boos as Doucho reaches down and picks her up slowly. He grabs her and hen tosses her forward with a front suplex that drapes her across the top rope. She hangs there for a moment, but Doucho backs up a few steps and then nails a big boot to her skull that knocks her onto the apron.
SP: Hell of a move there from El Doucho Baggo. He seems to have knocked her out of the match for now and probably out, period.
AS: Think I should go over there and see if she’s alright?
Doucho looks down at her for a moment before he turns around gets DelRusso there, looking to chop him. He lands a few knife edged chops to Doucho’s chest that echo through the bar. The first few actually send Doucho reeling a few steps, but as Mark moves in, Doucho knees him in the gut, the grabs him and flings him into the corner with a hip toss that sends him back first into the turnbuckles. The crowd goes “ohhhhhhhh” at this but then cheer as Doucho turns and gets a missile dropkick to the chest by Cadyna, who had sprung off the top rope. This sends Doucho into the ropes staggering.
SP: Cadyna with a golden opportunity here. Sure, Doucho is bigger than her and likely stronger, but she’s a hell of a lot quicker and she needs to exploit that.
AS: Watching her…..it makes ME quick, Stu. Can you believe that?
Cadyna waits for Doucho to straighten up before she charges him. Doucho lowers his shoulder and goes for a back body drop to the floor, but Cadyna goes to grab onto the top rope. Douch grabs her by the legs and tugs at her repeatedly. Finally, he breaks her grip on the ropes and then powers her down suddenly with an Alabama slam. It shakes the ring and draws boos from the fans. Cadyna rolls off to the side of the ring. Just as Doucho straightens up, DelRusso nails some shots to his back and grabs his head, going for a bulldog. Doucho shoves him off and when Mark gets up, grabs him and flips him upside down before he drops him with a tombstone piledriver…..well, his “unique” version of it anyway.
SP: DELRUSSO JUST GOT TEABAGGED!
AS: HOLY SHIT, WHAT POWER FROM DOUCHO!
One……….Two……….Three!
TL: Here is your winner……EL DOUCHO BAGGO!
We go behind the curtain to where Simon Sensation is standing by with Ace Andrews. Both are looking down at the floor. Finally, Simon looks up at him.
Simon: Do you know what you’re doing with this Lucas crap, man? I mean, if you lose tonight we’re both screwed.
Ace nods and then looks up with a smirk.
Ace: I know, but I won’t lose. Me lose to Lucas? That’s so freaking funny you’d have to take it and send the clip in to Tosh.0. I won’t be losing to him, tonight you get your freedom back and tonight, I get mine.
This causes Simon to look at him oddly.
Simon: You gets yours?
Ace nods.
Ace: I’m sick of some coward running behind everyone’s backs and taking me down. If he or she was any kind of a man, they’d be able to get in my face, then try and take me out. What’s been happening is bull and we both know that. Nobody seems to know anything. Nobody really has any clues as to who it is. It’s almost as if they’re invisible, as if whoever’s doing it don’t exist. I’m tired of it, man.
He points down and nods his head.
Ace: Tonight after I win you your freedom from Lucas, I’m going to drag whoever has been doing this into the light and believe me when I say that they aren’t going to like me one freaking bit.
With that, he walks off and leaves Simon nodding his head as he watches him go.
TL: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first…….
“One Step Closer” begins to play as James Chaos walks out from the back to boos from the crowd. He looks around at them with a smirk, then shakes his head and slowly walks down to the ring. He hops up onto the apron and gets into the ring before getting up on the middle rope and holding his hand up to even more boos.
TL: From Toronto, Ontario, Canada……..James Chaos!
SP: Talk about international, Chaos is from two countries over at this point. Of course, he’s been making quite an impact since debuting. Tonight he plays the role of welcome wagon, though.
AS: Yeah, we better hope this welcome wagon don’t lose a wheel like he did against Corvo two weeks ago……
“The State of Massachusetts” begins to play and the crowd begins to cheer as Paddy Connors walks out from the back. He instantly slaps a few hands before walking down the aisle and to the ringside area. He eyes Chaos in the ring for a few moments, then slides in.
TL: And his opponent, from Boston, Massachusetts, Paddy Connors!
SP: Paddy is no stranger to the business despite this being his debut here. He’s been behind the scenes and a manager elsewhere for a while now.
AS: Yeah, I’ve heard people say that he reminds them of “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. Well Paddy is definitely a common man and judging from the way this idiot looks, I’d say he’s no hit with the ladies so he’s gotta be doing a lot of work with this hands too……..
SP: Oh, come on now………
The bell rings and Chaos wastes no time laying some kicks in to Paddy’s legs. He gets the Irishman reeling for a few seconds before he leaps up and nails a spinning heel kick that sends Paddy stumbling into the ropes. James holds his arms up with a smirk to boos from the fans. He takes a step toward Paddy, but the Irishman rushes out at him and nails a clothesline that gets cheers from the crowd. Chaos immediately gets up, but he walks right into a back body drop from Paddy. Chaos lands on the mat hard and holds his lower back as he gets to his feet slowly. When he turns around, Paddy grabs him by the head and plants him with a DDT that gets some cheers from the fans as he rolls him over and goes for a cover. One………! Chaos kicks out!
AS: Did he really think that he was going to get Chaos this early? I think he had a few too many brews before the match.
SP: You know, I probably wouldn’t doubt it. He is well…..Irish. And he’s from Boston.
AS: Yeah, if I was from a city with teams like the Red Sox and Bruins, I’d want to get piss drunk too.
Connors pulls Chaos to his feet and nails a few knife edged chops on him. Chaos grabs his chest and falls back, but Connors keeps after him and nails a few European uppercuts to him that rock him and send him stumbling into a nearby corner. Paddy stays on him and nails another uppercut before he grabs Chaos and lifts him up to the top rope in a seated position. He climbs up to the middle rope and grabs him, looking for a superplex, but Chaos lands some shots to his midsection and then shoves the Irishman back into the ring. Paddy lands on his feet, but Chaos stands up on the top rope and as Connors looks up, he leaps off and catches him with a cross body. He holds on as they hit the mat and goes for a pin on him. One………..Two! Connors gets a shoulder up!
SP: Close call there but Paddy managed to muscle out of that one. Still, in a split second Chaos was able to turn the match around into his favor.
AS: Well you also got to take into consideration that Paddy’s old too. I heard that when he was a kid they road dinosaurs to school.
SP: Oh, come on. Can’t you say anything good about anyone?
Chaos glares at the ref and then pulls Connors to his feet. He whips the Irishman against the ropes and catches him with a picture perfect dropkick. Connors lays on the mat holding his face as Chaos rushes into the ropes, leaps up onto the middle one and then comes back at Paddy with a moonsault. The Irishman manages to move out of the way, though, which prompts Chaos to size him up and when Paddy gets to a knee, he lunges toward him and goes for a buzz saw kick. Paddy ducks the kick and with Chaos spun around, shoves him forward. Chaos turns to face Paddy and as he does, the barman springs toward him looking for his Boston Brew super kick, but Chaos sees it at the last second and ducks. The fans can’t help but clap for this exchange at this point, but it quickly turns to some boos and jeers as Chaos grabs Paddy from behind and rolls him up with a schoolboy! One…………Two….! Paddy kicks out!
SP: The Boston Barman managed to get out of it there and Chaos seems a little irked.
AS: I’d be too if I couldn’t keep a drunk like this Paddy Connors moron down.
Chaos gets up and starts barking at the ref. He tells him to actually count and then grabs Connors by the head. He knees him a few times, then lifts him up and snap suplexes him over. Connors lays on the mat and Chaos looks at him for a moment before he gets out onto the apron. He wait’s a second, then leaps onto the top rope and springs into the ring with an attempted shooting star press. Paddy rolls out of the way, though and Chaos crashes into the mat. The crowd goes wild, trying to will the two up as they both lay on the mat. Feeling like he has no other option, the referee starts a ten count. One………Two……….Three! Paddy sits up and takes several deep breaths before he starts to get up. Four………..Five…………Six! Chaos tries to get to his knees. Seven……..Eight………Nine! Connors is up to his feet and the referee stops counting. The fans go crazy as Connors grabs Chaos by the head, lifts him to his feet and brings him up and over with a brain buster! He floats over and makes a cover! One………….Two………! Chaos gets a foot on the ropes!
SP: Chaos just barely gets his foot on the rope and the match goes on. Talk about a first impression from Connors, eh?
AS: The fuck are you, Canadian? Eh? Seriously? Yeah, Connors and Chaos may be going back and forth in the ring but they can’t both win, can they? One has to lose and it wouldn’t break my heart to see either of them fall.
Connors knees for several moments, breathing deeply before he gets up and then grabs Chaos by the head. He goes to pull him up, but James nails several shots to his gut. This sends the Irishman back. Chaos sees the distance between them and in an instant, leaps up and nails a kick to the side of Connors’ head that takes the Irishman down to one knee. Chaos sees his chance and swings his leg around again to nail a sick buzz saw kick! He gets on Connors and makes the cover! One……….Two……………NO! Connors JUST manages to get a shoulder up!
SP: Man, oh man. I thought that was the end for Paddy right there. That’s the move that took out Eric Cobretti. Chaos beat him and we haven’t seen The Cobra since, have we?
AS: Do you see me crying about that? I’m hoping he can put away this old coot too.
Chaos sits up and looks at the ref in disbelief. He yells at him, screaming at the top of his lungs and causing the ref to back into a corner as he gets up. As Chaos is screaming at the ref, Connors gets to his hands and knees and gets behind him. He reaches up and brings him back with a roll up. The ref gets down and counts. One………..Two………….NO! Chaos kicks out! The fans start a “let’s go Paddy” chant as the Irishman gets to his feet and waits for Chaos to get up. When Chaos gets up and turns around, Paddy springs at him and nails his Boston Brew! Chaos falls to the mat on his back. Connors falls to his knees for a moment, then crawls over onto him to make the cover. One…………..Two……………NO! Chaos gets a hand on the bottom rope! Now it’s Paddy’s turn to be annoyed as he gets to his feet.
SP: My god, these two are stealing the bloody show here!
AS: They can have it for all I’m concerned if it means me sitting here next to you the whole night…….
Paddy gets up and waits for Chaos to make it to his feet in a dazed state before he goes for another super kick! Chaos ducks this one, though and gets behind Connors to nail a huge belly to back suplex on him! Connors is slow to get up, but once he gets to his hands and knees, Chaos grabs him by the head and then pulls him down backward and into a neck breaker. Connors holds onto his head as he lays on the mat. Chaos gets up, holding his head and looks down at Connors for a second before he rushes into the corner, jumps onto the middle and then top rope, then flies off with a moonsault! Connors manages to roll out of the way, though! Chaos lands on his feet! He turns around, but Connors springs into action and nails a second Boston Brew on him that lays him out! With Chaos collapsed, Connors gets down and hooks both of his legs! One………….Two………..Three!
TL: Here is your winner……PADDY CONNORS!
SP: He did it! Connors picks up a huge debut win here tonight but Chaos certainly showed us what he’s made of as well.
AS: Yeah, but he lost. That’s the bottom line! Wait a minute……..
Just as Connors is getting his hand raised, Chaos has used the ropes to pull himself up. He spots Connors and charges at him, knocking him down from behind. As Connors falls forward, he lands on his hands and knees and this allows Chaos to nail a sick buzz saw kick to his skull that lays the Boston Barman out. The fans boo as Chaos stands over Connors, looking down at him for a moment before he walks over to the ropes and gets out of the ring with the fans booing him as he goes.
We just fade to backstage as we see "Ballistic" Bryan Deas just getting ready to speak.
Bryan: Well, this is very interesting! It won't be long until Primer Anniversario!
Bryan pauses for a minute before speaking.
Bryan: That is the date that I face off for the very last time against Adam Linn in a Dog Collar Match! Now, Adam...
Bryan stops for a minute before speaking.
Bryan: We have had our battles in numerous federations....too many to count, but this will be your last match and I am honored that it is against me! So, if this is the last ever match for Adam Linn, I say that lets make it memorable, dude! Lets show the fans that me and you can whup the tar out of each other and still have enough to just shake hands!
Bryan stops again before speaking.
Bryan: Adam, normally, I would say that I am going to kick your ass, but in all honesty bro, I want you to give your best efforts and I will do the same! Just be sure of this, I will give you my best! So, get ready to go to war, son! And when we go to war, there is no coming BACK! May the best man win, and after this event is over, we will say goodbye to one of the greatest performers in this game! See you at Primer Anniversario, Linn!!!!
With that said, we fade back to ringside.
TL - "The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! The first man to gain a pin or submission, will get the victory."
'Motherfucker of the Year' by Motley Crue kicks in and out steps Adam Linn to a huge crowd pop. He removes his over shirt and tosses it to the crowd, Removes his glasses and does the same. He charges the ring and slides in ready for a fight.
TL - "Introducing first, hailing from Omaha, Nebraska. He stands in at 6 foot 4 inches tall, and weighs 335 pounds! He is ADAM LINN!!"
“Coming Undone” by Korn starts to play and the fans give a mixed reaction as Cannibal comes out of the back and slowly makes his way to the ring before he crawls into it under the bottom rope.
TL - "And his opponent, hailing from Blair, Nebraska. He stands in at 5 foot 9 inches tall, and weighs 317 pounds. He is CANNIBAL!"
Both men waste little time going face-to-face, the closeness between the men disappearing the moment they get between the ropes. Neither man backs off from the face-to-face, mouthing who knows what nasty things to each other. Though Linn has the height and weight advantage, its Cannibal who swings first, slamming his first square into Linn's jaw! That sets the brawl off, both men standing centre of the ring and exchanging hard shots, until Linn manages to block one of Cannibals, and counters with a headbutt! Linn now presses his advantage, backing Cannibal up with a few more right hands, and then takes two steps back to do a big one, but as he steps forward, Cannibal catches his arm, yanks him in, and drills him in the jaw with a clothesline!
AS - "And Cannibal just caught Linn off guard there!"
SP - "Linn was busy setting up for his own move, and Cannibal took the advantage."
Cannibal now pulls Linn to his feet, and goes to lift him for the Gorilla Press, but Linn squirms off and down behind Cannibal, and then hooks him up for a German Suplex! Cannibal goes for the ride, but once Linn pulls them to their feet, Cannibal manages to squirm out behind Linn, and drill him with a German Suplex of his own! Cannibal now drags Linn up, but before he can drill Linn with ANOTHER German Suplex, Linn squirms free, ducks behind Cannibal, and goes for ANOTHER German Suplex. Cannibal struggles with it, stretching out and grasping the top rope, and not allowing Linn to lift him. Linn stops pulling long enough to slam his forearm into Cannibals back, but the break is all Cannibal needs, and he swings his foot back, catching Linn square between the legs!
SP - "Oh come on!"
AS - "Cannibal is just doing what he needs to to win."
Cannibal now takes advantage, turning around and lifting Linn high over head in the Gorilla Press. Cannibal presses Linn a few times before tossing him forward and letting him hit the mat, chest first. Cannibal now drops down for the cover, but Linn kicks out at 2. That doesn't sem to bother Cannibal, who sticks his forearm into Linn's neck, and then starts chewing on his forehead! The referee tries to DQ Cannibal, but Cannibal simply looks up at him with bloodied teeth, and the ref backs off! Cannibal now gets to his feet, and yanks Linn up. He calls for the powerbomb, but before he can lift Linn up, Linn drops to one knee and uppercuts him square between the legs!
SP - "And Linn getting a little pay-back!"
AS - "Whats good for the goose is good for the Gander. Cannibal took advantage earlier with a ball shot, and now Linn has it back!"
Linn takes a few moments to get his breath, and then as Cannibal gets back to his feet and turns to face Linn, Linn leaps up looking for a FUCK YOU! However as he hooks Cannibals head, Cannibal shoves him off into the ropes, and when Linn bounces back, Cannibal hooks him by the back of the neck, lifts him high, and then DRILLS Adam Linn with the Tenderizer! Cannibal weastes little time rolling Linn over and then covers him.
ONE...
TWO...
THRE-NO!
SP - "HOLY SHIT! LINN KICKED OUT OF THE TENDERIZER!"
AS - "Linn is close to retiring, but he STILL has that fighters heart. Its going to take more then that to take him out Stu."
And as Strong wishes...Cannibal wastes little time arguing with the ref, instead dragging Linn to his feet, lifting him up high, and then DRILLS him to the mat again, this time with the Stay For Dinner! Cannibal covers Linn again, this time making sure to hook both legs as the referee drops down to count.
ONE...
TWO...
THREE!!
DING DING DING
TL - "Your winner of this match, via pinfall, CANNIBAL!"